As promised!

We all felt incredibly blessed for the very special day we had with most of us gathered at Glenda's house on August 19th!  Mom was having a good day, was alert and feeling pretty well the whole day!  The kids got to swim, and all of us shared a wonderful meal and had a full day of visiting and loving each other! We are taking nothing for granted as far as the time we have with Mom and Dad.  Today is a gift from God, and none of us are guaranteed another day on this Earth! James 4:14 says, "Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring.  What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes."  Fortunately, we do not know how long our "little time" is, so we'd better make the most of it and praise God for each day He gives us!  

I received an email from a dear friend that in a nutshell said, if I am not here tomorrow, I wanted you to know that I love you!  I always keep in my heart the saying, "To the world you may just be one person, but to one person you may be the world."  Oh, so I can take this opportunity to tell you I love you!!  

I just spoke to Mom.  She has been sleeping later and later, which I think is so good...her body needs all the healing rest it can get!  Dad is back in his habit of sleeping until about noon.  I never call before at least 10:30!  The Hospice aide had been there to help Mom shower, so Mom was a little more out of breath from that activity.  

Mom has been able to manage her "discomfort" with Tylenol and infrequent small doses of morphine.  She rarely, if ever uses the word "pain."  She is one of the strongest and most stoic persons I know.  Despite her illness, she remains the maternal head of our family and is such a strong guide and Godly presence in our lives.  
"She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue."  Proverbs 31:26  Mom still directs the caretakers and has even been doing a little bit of cooking for her and Dad if I or one of us can't be there to cook, take them out to eat or bring them food.  She makes what she calls "flat enchiladas" which is one of Dad's favorite meals.  Of course, no one can cook them quite like she does!  I am happy if she feels up to doing it, so I don't discourage that one bit!  The caretaker will certainly do the dishes and clean up the kitchen for her!  One of the selling points about their new house was that there is a Luby's Cafeteria within a few blocks.  They like to eat there because they can pick out exactly what they want to eat, they have vegetables and pretty good desserts!  I like the opportunity to get them out of the house, as long as they are well enough to do so. 

Dad seems to be feeling pretty well, although, when asked if he is okay, he shakes his head no.  He certainly is not okay when the love of his life isn't well.  It looks to me as if he has lost some weight, and, of course, he is sad.  Dad is totally devoted to being near Mom and watching out for her.  Almost every time she gets up from her recliner, he reminds her to use her walker (she holds onto it for stability).  I walked in the house the other day and they were watching a movie together, Mom in her chair and Dad in his wheelchair next to her, holding her hand!  It was such a sweet sight!  

The actor Michael J. Fox said, "I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection.  Excellence I can reach for, perfection is God's business."  I pray for excellence in serving God and my parents, and pray for peace and strength in accepting the perfection in God's will for Mom and Dad.

  

My love to all of you!  Sandi

 

 

 

Family

For the Smith family, there's nothing we love more than to find a reason to get together.  We all met at Glenda's house at the end of July for Dad's 88th birthday.  Mom wasn't feeling well that day and slept the whole day.  She was very disappointed that she missed everything.  So, Glenda decided to have another family party this month to celebrate all the August birthdays!  Everyone was able to attend except Nicole, Matt and Mia.  We had a great day, despite their absence.  I will have some photos to share soon!

As I mentioned to you, Glenda took Mom to see an oncologist last week.  I thought you might want to read her efficient synopsis...
 

*Confirmed that he sees a spot on her lungs and in her pancreas which most likely are tumors.  Made a point to say that without a biopsy he can’t know for sure whether it is cancer of lung, pancreas or “unknown primary”.  Tumors are most likely irritating the pleura sac around the lung and that causes it to “weep” which is the fluid.  *The cancer is potentially treatable but is not curable (in his opinion) – it might shrink with treatment but won’t go away.  It is likely there are other cancer spots which are not showing up on the scans simply because the scan is not sensitive enough.  He would expect chemo to prolong her life by months, not by years. 

*Re chemo – for most people 86 years young he would recommend against chemo.  But since he feels Mother is exceptional (brightness in her eyes, intellect, ability to communicate) – he would say okay if she wanted to try it – but she needs to know it would likely make her very sick – weakness, nausea, vomiting, infection.  So doesn’t recommend but wouldn’t withhold if that were her desire.  (it’s not)    

*She should continue taking morphine before bed to help her sleep – she will not become addicted or develop tolerance.  At some point we can switch her to long-acting morphine rather than the as-needed morphine that she is using now.  Also when she reaches pain level 5 or 6 we should consider nerve blocks which can be administered one or more times and will block the pain.  This procedure is administered by Seton Hospital – when she is ready we should call Bobbye the nurse at his office and she can arrange.  Also feel free to call Bobbye if we have any questions.   

*Mother asked the time question.  He said average 6 months for pancreatic cancer and 8 months for lung and no more than one year for the unknown primary.  Back pain is typical of pancreatic cancer.  Also that is most likely since she never was a smoker.   

*Drinking wine is just fine. 

*I asked if there is anything else we should expect – he said increasing pain and also possibly jaundice.  Pancreatic tumors can grow to block the bowel duct and if this happens, they will need to do an endoscopy and put in a stint.  He said this is most likely when the tumor is in the head of the pancreas and least like when it is in the tail of the pancreas.  Hers is in the body of the pancreas meaning her risk is in the middle.  I am sure the hospice nurses know to watch for this.  

*Constipation is number one issue with morphine.  She needs to take as much mirolax etc as necessary to prevent constipation.  Number two issue is drowsiness.  So she’s having both. 

*He encouraged her to use her walker saying her quality of life would deteriorate significantly if she were to fall again and fracture something. 

Hopefully, Glenda's great notes will answer most of the questions you might have. I will try to keep you updated.  

Love to all, Sandi

Psalm 27:4-5
One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.
For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
and set me high upon a rock. 

 

One day at a time...

"One day at a time sweet Jesus, that's all I'm asking from You.
Just give me the strength to do everyday what I have to do.
Yesterday's gone sweet Jesus and tomorrow may never be mine.
Lord help me today, show me the way, one day at a time. "
Christy Lane Lyrics

 Since Mom got her diagnosis almost a month ago, that's all we have been able to do, take one day at a time.  Her faithful strength is such an inspiration to me and my family and all who know her.  Mom is not a complainer, so it is pretty tough to know how she is really feeling  If she is in front of Dad, she will not say anything negative, so we have to get her by herself to find out her true feelings.

Last week she was very short of breath and has spent most days in her chair with the oxygen on.  She took a very small dose of morphine 3 times a day, which also helped to relax her and helps her to breath.  

On August 3rd, Glenda took Mom to the retina specialist for a problem she was having with her sight.  Mom had a cataract removed several months ago and afterwards, as a result, her retina started detaching.  This happens in less than 10% of people who have that surgery. Recently, a black spot developed in her eye that was affecting her vision. Of course, we feared that the retina was detaching worse and that she may require eye surgery to repair it. However, the retina specialist said her retina was not getting worse, thank God, but the black spots can occur in cancer patients.  Glenda said that the retina specialist told Mom that he would like to see her again in three months and that Mom very soberly told him she may not be here then.  She is so amazing to be able to be so frank about the disease.  It makes this so much easier for those of us whom are with her.  Not that she needs to do that, of course.  Again, her unfailing faith in God is such an inspiration to all of us. 
 
 I have a very bad summer old, so I certainly have been staying away.  That is very hard for me!  Danny and Lisa visited them Sunday afternoon and Glenda went Sunday evening.  Jean is there today.  I call Mom at least twice a day, but it's not the same as being there!

Mom seems to be having a better week with her breathing.  She told me that she didn't use her oxygen or morphine at all yesterday.  She despises having to take medicine and will only do so when she really feels bad.  

We have been keeping in tough with cousin Ron Lawson, who is an oncologist in Tennessee.  It is such a comfort having him follow Mom's condition and for his guidance and support.  He is sich a blessing to us!

Mom has an appointment with Texas Oncology this Wednesday.  I will report more after that appointment.  Meanwhile, thank you for keeping her and Dad in your prayers.  All of you are such a blessing to me and my family!  Love to all of you!

Psalm 118:24
This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.

Pretty good week...

I just hot home from Mom and Dad's house.  Mom and Dad have had a pretty good week.  Mom was in less pain and only had to be drained on Monday.  The Hospice nurse that we began working with retired on Friday, July 27, so there has been a different nurse each time one has visited since then.  They have told us that they are re-configuring their schedules and will assign a permanent nurse to Mom.  Hospice likes their nurses and aides to know their patients.  I like that approach also.

When Mom was drained Monday, the result was less than in the past.  I don't know if that is bad or good, but Mom thought it was good, and that's all that matters!  She has been in less pain this week, and we are so grateful for that.  Being in less pain meant that she used the morphine less, and that meant that she didn't sleep most of the day.  Instead, she has been alert and more herself.  More to be grateful for!  

As when Dad was in rehab after his stroke and in time since, our family's teamwork makes me so proud.  We are all pulling together in support of each other and, of course, in support of Mom and Dad.  It makes me think of a beautiful verse from Proverbs 31:28-29..."Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her; 'Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.'  Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the City gates."  Yes, sweet Lord, in our eyes our Mom surpasses them all!  She is so modest, that she won't accept our praise.  So, I tell her, "Mom, just say thank you!"  That makes her smile real big, and 
she does!


Mom had a cataract removed from her left several months ago.  She started having  a little trouble with her vision a few months later.  The surgeon told her at that time that her retina could be trying to detach.  She was supposed to be aware of further changes in her vision.  Up until last week she was doing well, but, on Thursday. she told me that she had a black spot in her vision.  I immediately thought of the retina and called the surgeon, who referred to Mom to Austin Retina Assoc.  Glenda took Mom to her appointment on Friday, and the good news is that the retina was still intact.  The retina specialist explained that cancer, in some people, affects their vision.  Mom was asking me about that tonight and I really didn't know any of the details of the appointment.  Mom said that the doctor really didn't have much to say, except that he would send a report to her primary care physician.  I will call the doctor's office tomorrow and get the nurse to explain his findings to me and get a copy of the doctor's report.  

Our cousin Ron Lawson is an oncologist in Memphis TN.  I am going to also contact the lung specialist's office tomorrow and have her reports faxed to him, mainly to get his thoughts and perspective.  Mom and I have been talking about doing this, and I know it will make her feel more secure to have his input.  He and I have been in phone contact, but I have not, nor has he, seen the actual doctor's reports.  I think that Ron's knowledge of Mom's records will be very beneficial and comforting to all of us.  

Thank you all for your thoughts, well wishes and prayers.  We all feel the love that is pouring out and are so very grateful for it. 

Lord God, thank you for our friends and family members who are so much support to Mom and Dad, and my family and me with their love and prayers.  They lift our spirits and help us accept our daily burdens.  We thank you for this precious time with Mom and Dad and pray that You will give them mercy and peace.  Amen.

???

I don't even know how to give this post a title.  So, I will do what always gives me peace, and that is to talk to you straight from my heart.  My precious Mom is not in pain, but she is withering away right before my eyes.  The days pass quickly even though I don't want them to, but that is for my sake and not hers.  The last thing I want is for her to suffer or be in pain.  Mom is such a trooper and isn't going down without a fight! She is staying very comfortable on a very small dose of morphine off and on during the day, although she says she hates to sleep the day away.  Doesn't that sound just like her?!  It would be wonderful if she had the energy to do the things she wants to do around the house, but she just doesn't.  She has succumbed to that and has learned to ask for what she needs. She still won't trust the caretakers or me to make her morning malto-meal just like she wants, so she gets out of her recliner and does it herself!  And, of course, I think that's great!  

Mom is a realist and talks freely to us and wants us to do the same.  She is making her wishes known to us and we are doing everything in our power to see that they are met.  I admire her faith in God and know without a doubt in my heart that the angels of God will take her directly to Heaven.  That gives me so much comfort.  We are told in John 14:2, "In my Father's house are many rooms.  If it were  not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?"  Mom's room will be full of beautiful flowering plants for her to tend and full of her loved ones whom have gone before her.  What a lovely homecoming that will be for her!


Now for the earthly realities...the Hospice nurse comes to the house now to offer comfort care including draining the fluid that is gathering around Mom's lung. She will continue to do the draining until I feel comfortable doing it.  The fluid causes Mom pain and makes it difficult for her to breathe.  It is not a pleasant procedure, but she does feel better after it is done.   She is having to be drained much more often now, and she will probably get to the point that we have to drain the fluid every day.  That's when it will be necessary for me to do it because Hospice doesn't have the manpower to send someone every day.  That's okay, it will be an honor to do anything I can do for her.  


We all feel that way.  It is such a blessing to have siblings whom work so well together as a team.  When one of us can't be there, the other steps up and goes.  It seems so crazy that life just goes on.  It feels like the world should stop and let us have time to manage this and only this.  But, that is not reality.  I know the Bible tells us that God won't give us more that we can handle, but we all feel a bit overwhelmed from time to time.  That's when our faith in God takes over and gives us strength  "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous hand."  Isaiah 41:10

Through this blog I have learned to gain strength through verses in the Bible, especially Psalms.  I didn't learn verses or study the Bible in my youth, but I did learn to find strength and guidance when I began writing this blog about Dad, starting when he had his stroke.  I could spend all day at my computer reading appropriate Bible passages and then writing them in the blog. They are such a comfort to me.  Like this from Joshua 1:9... "Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."  I am not frightened when I keep in mind that this is all in God's hands.  I trust in Him and know that He will help Mom, Dad and all of us handle this.


We are all also very concerned about Dad.  He is so sad and spends special time holding Mom's hand and "telling" her he loves her. He also spends a lot of time in front of his computer looking at pictures.  He can't verbalize his fears or his wishes, but we reassure him that we are and will always be there for him.  I can tell you that he is absolutely broken-hearted.   I plan to sit with him tonight and read to him the scriptures I have been studying today.  I pray that will give him some peace.

One of our greatest blessings is our close-knit family and network of friends.  That support is invaluable and so very much appreciated.  I know each of you has Mom and Dad in your prayers and Jean, Glenda, Danny and I, our spouses and all of our family thank you with all of our hearts. 

Our Father, Almighty God in Heaven, please be with my Mom, Mildred, and my Dad, Harvey, and give them peace and strength in this sad time.  Please be merciful on my Mom as she has been such a faithful servant to You.  I know that she belongs to You and praise You for having blessed us with having her in our lives.  When it is time for the angels to take her to join You in Heaven, give us the kind of strength and courage and power she had so that we may continue her works of faith and love. Please be with my Dad and comfort his loss.  Thank you, precious Lord.  I know You are hearing all the prayers pouring out for her, and that gives me peace.
Amen.

Prayers for Mildred, please!

Well, this is not exactly how we expected things to go, but, through the will of God, Mom and Dad were barely in their home and we had to put Mom in the hospital today.  She has been having more difficulty with her breathing, especially if she gets anxious or if she exerts herself at all.  This morning I arrived at their house at 10:00 as Mom and I had pre-arranged (I was hoping she would sleep late).  She had taken a shower and was dressed and sitting on the end of her bed, barely able to catch her breath.  I told her that it was time for her to go to the hospital and that I was calling an ambulance.  She didn't argue with me at that point.  However, two minutes later she decided that she was feeling better and that she really didn't want the ambulance to come.  I suggested that she allow them to come at least to check her blood oxygen level and give us their professional opinion as to whether or not she should be in the hospital, knowing full well the answer to that question!  Sure enough, they said she should let them take her in, so we went to Seton Central.  A chest x-ray showed that there was about 2 liters of fluid around her right lung, which was why she was so short of breath.  I think I told you previously that the fluid was IN her lung.  It is not...it is in the pleural cavity around the outside of her lung.  They immediately drew a lot of blood samples for testing and then had a radiologist insert a catheter and drew out 1.5 liters of fluid!  After about an hour of discomfort, Mom started feeling much better and she was breathing more easily.  At this point, around 3:00, they admitted her into Room 407.  This evening a CT scan of Mom's chest, abdomen and pelvic area was done.  The doctors are trying to determine what is causing the inflammatory fluid that the lung is producing.  One possibility is that there could be an infection somewhere in her belly and the lung would react like this. We will know much more after the test results come back.

We have arranged round-the-clock care for Dad through the company that has been providing the night-time assistance. In addition, Ollie was there with Dad most of the day today, Danny and Lisa are going tomorrow and Jean is going Monday.  Glenda and I are alternating being with Mom at the hospital.    Mom has requested prayers in lieu of visitors.  If you have any questions, call my cell phone 512/934-3641.  I will do my best to keep the blog updated.

Dear Lord
Please hear my prayers for my precious Mother, Mildred Smith.  Please heal whatever is causing this fluid around her lung and raise her from her sick bed. Release her from these chains of sickness and suffering. Make her whole again and give her back the strength of her body that she will continue to serve You.
Touch her body, just that single touch that brought sight to the blind, made the lame walk and the lepers run. That is all we ask of you tonight. Let this sickness not reoccur. Let her not suffer any longer with this fluid gathering around her lung. For, in faith, I know that nothing in this world is too difficult for You.
Be with her husband and my Dad, Harvey, whom is so worried about his loving wife of 66 years.  Please allow them to be able to be together and not to suffer or be in pain in their last years together.
Let no impurity of mine hinder this prayer from reaching you, but look past me and to the one who needs Your help. Father God.  I thank You for hearing my prayer.
In Jesus Christ's mighty name I pray. Amen

They're in!!

It's been a long week of getting things ready for the move, the actual move yesterday and unpacking boxes today, but Mom and Dad are about 80% settled in their new home!  They even spent their first night there last night and rested well!  Praise God!!!  They are both very pleased with the way their furniture fit and with the layout of the house.  OF course, it will take a while for it to feel like home, but they are happy and that's all that matters.

Mom has another doctor's appointment Monday, this time with the pulmonary specialist that came very highly recommended.  He is in the Seton network, so he already has had access to Mom's medical tests and reports, so he is ready to see her Monday.  Glenda sat with Mom today and filled out the lengthy medical history, so we are all set for the appointment. I will take her and will report back to you as soon as I know anything.  She isn't feeling well at all and spent most of today sitting on the couch, watching Jean, Glenda and I unpack boxes.  I am determined to get her back to her sweet self!  Prayers for her are greatly appreciated!

They already had visitors today!  Their next-door-neighbor came over to introduce herself and brought a plate of delicious cookies!  Becky works out of her home and told Mom and Dad to call her if there was anything she could help them with!  Later, my precious friend Kim Wagner came by with a house-warming gift and cake!  She cought them a birdhouse and a huge bag of bird seed!  Dad wanted me to hang it on the front porch immediately, but I explained that I didn't have the necessary hook and would hang it tomorrow.  He wanted it done today, but tomorrow will just have to do!!!

I plan on taking Mom to their new Church on Sunday, if she feels up to going.  Saint Vincent De Paul Church is about 12 minutes away.  I want to ride with her the first few times and make sure she finds it without any hitches!  It's so easy to get turned around when you're not used to driving in Austin.  A lot of the areas were not here when she and Dad lived here!

Gotta run but wanted to catch you up to date!  I'll talk to you after Monday's appointment!  Love, Sandi