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I don't even know how to give this post a title.  So, I will do what always gives me peace, and that is to talk to you straight from my heart.  My precious Mom is not in pain, but she is withering away right before my eyes.  The days pass quickly even though I don't want them to, but that is for my sake and not hers.  The last thing I want is for her to suffer or be in pain.  Mom is such a trooper and isn't going down without a fight! She is staying very comfortable on a very small dose of morphine off and on during the day, although she says she hates to sleep the day away.  Doesn't that sound just like her?!  It would be wonderful if she had the energy to do the things she wants to do around the house, but she just doesn't.  She has succumbed to that and has learned to ask for what she needs. She still won't trust the caretakers or me to make her morning malto-meal just like she wants, so she gets out of her recliner and does it herself!  And, of course, I think that's great!  

Mom is a realist and talks freely to us and wants us to do the same.  She is making her wishes known to us and we are doing everything in our power to see that they are met.  I admire her faith in God and know without a doubt in my heart that the angels of God will take her directly to Heaven.  That gives me so much comfort.  We are told in John 14:2, "In my Father's house are many rooms.  If it were  not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?"  Mom's room will be full of beautiful flowering plants for her to tend and full of her loved ones whom have gone before her.  What a lovely homecoming that will be for her!


Now for the earthly realities...the Hospice nurse comes to the house now to offer comfort care including draining the fluid that is gathering around Mom's lung. She will continue to do the draining until I feel comfortable doing it.  The fluid causes Mom pain and makes it difficult for her to breathe.  It is not a pleasant procedure, but she does feel better after it is done.   She is having to be drained much more often now, and she will probably get to the point that we have to drain the fluid every day.  That's when it will be necessary for me to do it because Hospice doesn't have the manpower to send someone every day.  That's okay, it will be an honor to do anything I can do for her.  


We all feel that way.  It is such a blessing to have siblings whom work so well together as a team.  When one of us can't be there, the other steps up and goes.  It seems so crazy that life just goes on.  It feels like the world should stop and let us have time to manage this and only this.  But, that is not reality.  I know the Bible tells us that God won't give us more that we can handle, but we all feel a bit overwhelmed from time to time.  That's when our faith in God takes over and gives us strength  "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous hand."  Isaiah 41:10

Through this blog I have learned to gain strength through verses in the Bible, especially Psalms.  I didn't learn verses or study the Bible in my youth, but I did learn to find strength and guidance when I began writing this blog about Dad, starting when he had his stroke.  I could spend all day at my computer reading appropriate Bible passages and then writing them in the blog. They are such a comfort to me.  Like this from Joshua 1:9... "Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."  I am not frightened when I keep in mind that this is all in God's hands.  I trust in Him and know that He will help Mom, Dad and all of us handle this.


We are all also very concerned about Dad.  He is so sad and spends special time holding Mom's hand and "telling" her he loves her. He also spends a lot of time in front of his computer looking at pictures.  He can't verbalize his fears or his wishes, but we reassure him that we are and will always be there for him.  I can tell you that he is absolutely broken-hearted.   I plan to sit with him tonight and read to him the scriptures I have been studying today.  I pray that will give him some peace.

One of our greatest blessings is our close-knit family and network of friends.  That support is invaluable and so very much appreciated.  I know each of you has Mom and Dad in your prayers and Jean, Glenda, Danny and I, our spouses and all of our family thank you with all of our hearts. 

Our Father, Almighty God in Heaven, please be with my Mom, Mildred, and my Dad, Harvey, and give them peace and strength in this sad time.  Please be merciful on my Mom as she has been such a faithful servant to You.  I know that she belongs to You and praise You for having blessed us with having her in our lives.  When it is time for the angels to take her to join You in Heaven, give us the kind of strength and courage and power she had so that we may continue her works of faith and love. Please be with my Dad and comfort his loss.  Thank you, precious Lord.  I know You are hearing all the prayers pouring out for her, and that gives me peace.
Amen.