More alert today...

Mom was more alert today.  She had a good night's sleep and had much more energy today.   A good gauge I watch for is whether or not she has changed out of her gown and robe by the time I arrive around 10:00 or so.  Yesterday she stayed in her gown all day, whereas today she had changed clothes before I arrived.  It's interesting how much energy its required to just change clothes!  Mom's legs are swollen, so it is difficult for her to bend them to put on her pants.  She does like to put on daytime clothes, especially if she is expecting any company.

Dad has been having some issues recently with blood in his urine.  The hospice doctor and nurse are working with him to get the bleeding stopped. It is suspected that the bleeding has to do with Dad's bladder cancer. Dad was treated for bladder several years ago.  He drove back and forth to Austin every day for 6 weeks to receive radiation treatments.  The cancer was in remission until 2009.  He had been having some trouble and a biopsy was done the week before he had his stroke.  Dad's stroke was Monday, September 14, 2009.  The following day, his urologist called to tell us that his cancer was back and that Dad needed to come in to discuss how they were going to treat it.  I informed him that Dad was in Seton Hospital having suffered a stroke.  Further down the road, Mom and Dad decided there would be no treatment done.  He has not had many symptoms form the cancer, but he did have a very serious urinary tract infection in March of this year.  He recovered well from that and has been doing pretty well until recently when the bleeding increased dramatically and he is now having pain. We are discussing his options and are treating his pain.

Deacon Pat Kennedy from Mom and Dad's Church in Marble Falls, St John's Catholic Church, comes weekly to bring them communion and keep them up-to-date with the people and the happenings of their home parish.  We have also met a very kind woman who lives in their garden home complex and whom is a member of St Thomas More's parish in Austin.  She is now coming at least once a week to bring them communion.  Mom and Dad both are comforted and blessed by their visits.   We are so grateful for their kindness to Mom and Dad. 

Cousin Peggy Radford is bringing Aunt Mary Wusterhausen and Aunt Dorene McNair, Dad's sisters, to visit tomorrow.  Mom and Dad are looking forward to their visit!  Aunt Mary is now in an assisted living facility and Aunt Dorene suffers with chronic back problems. so they don't get to see each other very often.  We are so grateful to Peggy for taking the time and effort in getting this arranged!   Family is such a blessing! 

As I am typing, this song came to my mind.  I guess I am meant to share it!  Thank you for your prayers for Mom and Dad!

Hear oh Lord the sound of my call.  Hear oh Lord and have mercy.
My soul is longing for the glory of You, hear oh Lord and have mercy.   

 Amen!

One day at a time...

Since Thanksgiving, Mother has made a quick decline. It's as if she was determined to hold on until that holiday with her family and, since then, she has been too tired to maintain that pace. Ironically, Dad has also had a decline.  His is not as visibly apparent as Mom's.  The Hospice nurse is always very positive about how well Mom looks,  how amazing she is and how Mom is her "poster child", but, today, when the nurse came, she took me aside and said how drastically Mom has declined since she saw her on Friday.  It's pretty scary how quickly things can change.  

Mom is comfortable on her morphine.  Her issue does not seem to be pain, praise God, it is mostly loss of short-term memory, seeing things and people that are not there, loss of appetite, severe loss of more weight, issues directly related to the position of the tumor in her pancreas, etc. A good bit of the time, especially in the afternoons, she is sharp as a tack, but, since last Thursday, those times are getting further apart and what fills the spaces are times of total weakness, so weak she can hardly talk or finish expressing a thought, very short memory, and a fine line between what is in her dreams and thoughts and what is reality.  We are all very gentle with her and keep her safe and secure.  We are so, so blessed to have caretakers who truly care for Mom and Dad and whom we can trust to comfort them if one of us kids is not there.    

I am appealing to each of you to pray for God's mercy for both Mom and Dad.  “Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.” Matthew 18: 19-20  

Dad "told" me today that he is ready to go to Heaven.  No doubt that he and Mom wish they could go together; they have told me that as recently as today.  Of course, that is not in our hands.  I reassured them and I have no doubt that our precious Lord has a perfect plan for them.  Jeremiah tells us that God knows His plan for us. Proverbs also tells us that the Lord establishes our steps. As always, we take this one day at a time. 

So don't be anxious about tomorrow. God will take care of your tomorrow too. Live one day at a time."  Matthew 6:34

 Amen!

We are thankful...

Give thanks to the Lord for He is good; His love endures forever.
Psalm 107:1


 I picked Mom and Dad up Thursday, Thanksgiving Day, around 10:15 and headed to Jean and Jimmie's house to join all the family.  Dad had shaken his head "no" previously this week that he didn't think he and Mom would be able to go, but Mom said adamantly that they were going, so he conceded!  I know that his concern is strictly for Mother.  

I am sure Mom would have preferred to stay at home in her recliner for the day, but she made herself get up, get dressed, put on some make-up and off we went!  Bless her heart, her legs were so swollen that it was difficult for her to bend her legs to get into the car, but she was determined to go! She spent most of the time there in a recliner and Dad on the couch, but all of their kids, grand kids, respective spouses, significant-others, and great-grand kids were there, and that made the trip worth while to Mom.  There was a total of 30 of us!

Mom and Dad both ate well and seemed to really enjoy visiting with everyone. We were there until about 3:00 and then we headed back home.  Mom catnapped all the way, and seemed very pleased with herself that she had been able to be there with us.  I just can't imagine that she will be able to make a trip like that again since her legs are getting more and more swollen.  We are working on a plan for Christmas so that they do not have to go anywhere. 

Mom's swelling is a product of the disease.  We do keep her legs elelevated when she is in the recliner, but that doesn't solve the problem.  It will continue to get worse, more than likely. Her pain seems mostly to be in her abdomen and she is in a good routine now of taking a time-released morphine pill every morning and night, and boosting that with liquid morphine off and on during the day.  The morphine and her oxygen seem to be keeping her pretty comfortable.  She rarely complains, so it is very had to tell how she is really feeling. As I always tell you, she is an amazingly strong woman!

The hospice nurse calls Mom her "poster child" and says that she has never met a stronger patient in all her years of nursing.  I would venture to bet that she never will!  In closing, I will share this poem about a woman of strength versus a strong woman.  It reminds me of Mom...

A strong woman works out everyday to keep her body in shape… But a woman of strength builds relationships to keep her soul in shape A strong woman isn't afraid of anything… But a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of fear. A strong woman won't let anyone get the better of her… But a woman of strength gives the best of herself to everyone. A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same in the future… A woman of strength realises life's mistakes can also be unexpected blessings, and capitalizes on them A strong woman wears a look of confidence on her face… But a woman of strength wears grace. A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey… But a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong. --- Copyright © 2005 Dee Cheeks

A Little Late!

 I forgot to post this adorable picture of Mom and Dad from Halloween night!  About 10 days before Halloween, Dad asked me to be sure they had candy ready from any trick or treaters!  A couple of kids from their garden home community came to their door, and Whitney made a special trip so that Austin trick or treat at his Mamaw and Papaw's house!  The last thing Austin expected was for his Papaw to greet him at the door with a mask on!  Whitney said that Austin thought it was hilarious, bit he wouldn't hug Papaw until he took his mask off!!!  When you see the photo below, you'll understand why!!  As you can also see from the picture, Mom got a big kick out of it!!  Thank you to one of the caretakers, Christina, for providing the mask!!  In the television program "Leave it to Beaver," Warde Cleaver said, "You're n ever too old to do goofy stuff!"  I agree 100%!!  One of the many things about my parents is that they maintain a great sense of humor!!

 

 

Humility

God blessed me with the most wonderful, loving and supportive husband, Ollie, who simply asks me each day when he will see me.  That relieves me of so much pressure and allows me to be where he and I know I need to be right now.

Mother often concerns herself that I am not attending to other things, other than her and Daddy.  I reassure her that I am doing what I want to do, to be there for her and Dad.  I found this verse in my Simple Prayers for Women that sums up how I feel..."I want to walk in a way that is worthy of the calling with which I was called, with all humility and meekness and patience." Ephesians 4:1-2
There is no doubt in my mind that my life's journey brought me to this calling.  I feel so honored to show my parents and God my gratitude in being blessed with them as parents and with the ability to be with them now.  Some time ago I asked God to show me His intentions for me, and He answered my prayer.  "Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known." Jeremiah 33:3  I will never be more grateful than for this precious and intimate time that I have had with Mom and Dad! Each of us kids does what we can and as much as we can, when we can. Our lives are all of different tracks.  It just so happens that mine allows me a different schedule than theirs.  I am so thankful to God and Ollie for that!

This week Mom's pain has been more gentle on her.  She has swelling from her toes to the backs of her knees, but doesn't seem to have much discomfort with that. She says sometimes her feet feel like bricks, but more from numbness than discomfort. She is resting fairly well and is able to do a few things like make her bowl of Malto-Meal or make Dad's flat enchiladas!  We all remain in awe of her spirit, patience and enduring strength! 

Dad went with me to Wal-Mart yesterday!  He likes go with me or Jean every once in a while! Once we got there, I realized his mission!  He wanted to pick out some toiletries, mouth wash, etc!  It continues to knock me to my knees when I realize the cross he bares.  He cannot tell us his needs, nor can he write them. We have gotten pretty good about knowing what he wants to talk about of what he needs, but it still chokes me to think of how patient he has to be every minute of every day.  

There is a website I found in my research for the blog.  I copied this message from makesmewannaholler.com.  I am not intending in any way to infringe on their copyright.  I simply felt as if it delivered a powerful message and wanted it in my blog.  

 

























"We complain about the cross we bear but don't realize it is preparing us for the dip in the road that we cannot see."


Amen!

Blessed

This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!
Psalm 118:24

Abraham Lincoln said, the best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time!  Often, I find myself thinking ahead about Mom and Dad and I decided that is absolutely the wrong thing to do.  I want to help them to LIVE every day they are with us and remind myself to turn their future over to our blessed Lord...let go and let God!  It has been easy to get into the pitfall of worrying what will happen to Dad if Mom goes before him, how will Mom's disease progress, etc.  I have been praying about this and I realize that, no matter what happens, God is with us and guiding us! "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5

Mom had much better days Friday and Saturday!  The nausea settled down and she felt like eating a little more and was much perkier!  It seems like each week her pain is more, but the morphine keeps her pretty comfortable and she is resting pretty well.  

Mom nor Dad has much of an appetite and nothing seems to taste very good to them. We cook for them, but it's tough finding things they will eat; things they used to love don't taste good at all.  Truly, they prefer us to go pick up foods to go. They have gotten into a routine of deciding on short-notice what they want to eat, and we go pick it up.  We strive to keep them fed and happy!  

Mom, Dad and I have talked about going to Georgetown to visit Aunt Mary and Aunt Dorene possibly this afternoon.  It all depends on how Mom and Dad are feeling, of course.  I also plan on talking Dad into letting me take him to the Texas History Museum next week.  He gets so bored, but it's hard to get him out of the house.  I know he doesn't want to leave Mom, but wants us to encourage him to get out.  I pray he will go with me, just for a couple of hours.  I think he will really enjoy it, once he gets there!  I will only offer to take him on a day that Mom is having a good day.  I also wouldn't want to leave her otherwise.  We will just have to see what next week brings us! 

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.  Psalm 28:7

Amen! 

And her children arise up and call her blessed...

Mom and Dad's oldest grandchild, Jennifer, is a cross stitching whiz!  She cross stitched a beautiful piece for Mom with the above Proverbs 31:28 passage.  It is so applicable...all of Mom's children, biological and otherwise, adore her and are so inspired by her!

Mom had a pretty bad day yesterday.  She was very nauseated and just felt badly most of the day.  Finally, about 7:30, she got hungry and felt better after eating a little bit more than the few swallows of soup she'd had earlier in the day.  This morning, the nausea is gone!  We have tweaked a few meds that may have contributed to the upset stomach.  She ate her usual bowl of malto-meal for breakfast, had a snack shortly afterwards and is now napping.

Dad has been pretty quiet this week...I think he's bored!  I want to take him on an outing next week to the Texas History Museum, if I can get him to leave Mom for a couple of hours.  Mom mentioned yesterday that she would like to go see Mary and Dorene, Dad's sisters.  If Mom feels up to it, I will take them Sunday.  It will be good to get them out of the house! 

The pleurex drain that was placed to drain fluid that was accumulating in Mom's chest wall has stopped draining fluid completely.  The decision was made to leave it in place rather than have Mom go to the hospital, have sedation and have it removed.  However, we have been discussing draining some of the fluid that is accumulating in her abdomen.  She didn't want anyone to mess with her, up until yesterday.  She is now considering having the pleurex drain removed and, while under sedation, having the ultrasound-guided procedure done to drain abdominal fluid.  In most cases, fluid can be drained off the abdomen without much discomfort, but, in Mom's case, that area is so, so tender to the touch, that I don't think she could tolerate the ultrasound without some sedation.  The hospice staff doesn't believe that draining the fluid would be worth it because they say it would re-accumulate possibly even within a few hours.  The oncology nurse has a differing opinion.  She said that she has some patients who have the draining done once a month and that they get a lot of relief from that procedure.  We will do whatever Mom chooses.  I am not encouraging or discouraging, simply supporting her wishes!  

Mom asked the Hospice nurse yesterday about how much time she thinks she has.  The nurse said we all have today, and that's all we know!  She is encouraging Mom to think about living each day and trying to think less about dying.  Mom has said to me that she doesn't know what to expect.  To help with some of her concerns, we are having a Hospice social worker come next week and see if she can help Mom with some of her questions and concerns.  Her faith is so strong that she does not fear death itself, I thinks she mostly worries about Daddy.  I have prayed about it and my answer to her is that none of us knows what each day will bring and the best thing we can do it to have trust and faith in our precious Lord.  She physically relaxes when I say that.  My strength is in the Lord!  Having such a wonderfully supportive network of family and friends helps tremendously also!!

Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” 
Amen!