A Better Day

Mom was dressed when I got to her house today.  I walked in just as Jean finished giving her a haircut!  She looked so pretty, even as she fades, she is beautiful!  

We were successful in enrolling Dad with Hospice also. Medicare allows him to be enrolled for 3 months, and then he will have to be re-evaluated.  If he is again accepted, he will be evaluated in 3 more months, then it goes to every 2 months. I am not sure that he will re-qualify, as his health has to be declining, and he really is pretty healthy!  We were concerned because Dad hadn't had his blood checked recently to monitor the coumadin, a blood thinner, that he takes.  We had attempted to enroll him shortly after Mom was diagnosed, but Medicare denied him.  This time, however, they did accept him.  The Hospice nurse, Debbie, and doctor, Dr Case, came today to check both Mom and Dad.  Dad has no complaints, his blood pressure and vital signs were very good and he seems to be feeling great, except for his sadness about Mom.  Mother was in less pain today, although her abdominal area is enlarged and is very tender to the touch.  The Hospice nurse will continue to visit twice a week, and now will check on both Mom and Dad!  Another nurse will come do Dad's blood test on Thursday to ensure that he is taking the right level of his blood thinner. The blood test will be done weekly, at first, to make sure it is staying at a pretty constant level.  Diet and other things affect it also.  It is now very comforting to have Hospice watching after Dad also!

What a blessing Hospice Austin is to Mom and Dad and our family!  Thank you, Lord God, for these women who so patiently and lovingly care for our parents.  We are so grateful to You and ask You to give them grace for their service to You and those they care for.  Amen. 

 

Not so good...

Yesterday and today have been the worst days for Mom. Up until now, she has gotten up and gotten dressed after she had her breakfast.  Both yesterday and today she has stayed in her gown and robe all day.  Mother is so Christ-like in her suffering. She doesn't complain, even though she is taking more of the morphine than she has since her diagnosis.  If I ask her how she is doing, she says she is alright or that she has been better.  Today she said that she's not so good.  She looks even thinner, if that is possible, and her abdomen is getting larger and larger.  The Hospice nurse told us, when it first started getting bigger, that her pancreas is swelling because of the tumor growing in it. Mom says it feels tight and full. She rubs it off and on all day, so I know that it is painful to her.  She also seemed to be weaker and her appetite is getting less and less. 

Jesus, I trust You to intercede to our holy Father and ask Him to hold my Mother dearly in His merciful care.  I know that You are ever-present with my Mom and my Dad, as they are both suffering.  Give them Your peace and grace. Amen. 
   

Glad that's behind us!

We held Mom and Dad's Living Estate Sale this weekend!  Ollie, Jean and I arrived at the "old" house on Thursday morning at 8:00 and immediately started taking things out of the house and setting them up ion the garage and the driveway for the sale, pricing it and doing a LOT of reminiscing! We held the sale Friday and Saturday and literally sold everything that we kids didn't take! I am going over to Mom and Dad's house after while to take them a nice envelope-full of cash!  That will be a treat!   

Huge thanks to my precious sister-friend Kim Wagner who showed up Friday ready to work and stayed the whole day!  I don't know what we'd have done without her!!  God intended on us being friends from the day we were born...we were born at the old 
St David's Hospital in Austin, two days apart...so we were nursery mates!  Years later, we were in a class in high school in 1971 and became instant friends and have been friends ever since!  Isn't life ironic?!  Kim is one of the greatest blessings in my life!

We kept so, so much!  I don't know where we're each going to put everything, but there was so much that we couldn't sell!  A lot of the remaining furniture and odds and ends will go to the grandchildren, now that they are all in homes of their own.  We also made sure that the great-grandchildren got something to cherish.  We are such a sentimental bunch! 

I had at least six meltdowns over the course of the sale!  I know everyone eventually has to go through this, but the emotions are all still so raw having moved Mom and Dad to Austin and found out so shortly afterwards that Mom is sick. One of the worst things for me was walking into Mom's closet and smelling her perfume on everything she wore! Jean and I started out the door Friday morning, each with a handful of clothes, and I couldn't handle it.  I turned around and put them all back and told Jean that we were not selling Mom's clothes!  I don't care that she can't wear them any more, since she has lost so much weight, but I couldn't stand the thought of people I didn't know walking off with her clothes!  I think I will get them to the ladies at Mom and Dad's Church in Marble Falls.  The ladies there always were so complimentary of how well Mom dressed.  Once, when the Church was holding a garage sale, Mom took some clothes that were too large for her and the women swarmed over them and didn't put them in the sale, but bought them for themselves!!  Mom will be pleased for those women to have them!  I also didn't sell Dad's pearl snap western shirts!  No way I could sell those!  I don't know quite yet what I will do with them!  

It's bittersweet to have this task behind us. It felt so strange walking out the door of the house with it being totally empty and knowing that another step in our parents' life journey is behind them.   The house and the property is on the market and we showed it to several couples who were interested in it.  It would be great if one of those couples decided to buy it! 

This morning Ollie and I unloaded the suburban and truck of all our treasures, and the treasures I brought to take to Mom and Dad, Whitney, Nicole and Danny.  Glenda and Jean have their family's treasures to disperse!  Yes, it's all just "stuff", but it is full of memories of precious times with Mom and Dad that we hold in our hearts forever!

I did make a decision this weekend...I will clean out my closets and purge them of items that are not of sentimental value and that I don't use often!   We all have too much stuff, Lord knows I do, but it's hard to let it go!  I am going to learn how!!!

“Where does stuff go when it dies,
does it go to stuff heaven?”

~George Carlin~

Mamie!

On Thursday, Mom was feeling well enough for a spontaneous trip to Elgin!  I picked Mom and Dad up at 11:00 and headed for Elgin to meet up with Danny and Mamie for lunch at Southside Bar-b-que.   Mom and Dad recognized her immediately as they all agreed that each of them looked the same, just older!  Imagine that! I had never met her, but felt an instant bond!  Mamie was delightful!  She is as excited as we are about reconnecting with our family!  She helped to clarify Cecil Smith's side of the family and answered as many of our questions as she could. After lunch, Mom, Dad and I followed them to the Elgin Cemetery.  She showed us the graves of her parents Cecil and Bill Grumble, and her younger sister, Linda Jean.  Linda passed away in 2009.  We, in turn, showed her where Clint Smith and Ida Darnell Smith, my great-grandparents, and Dad's youngest brother, whom was called Daney Boy, are buried.  The weather didn't cooperate with us and we had to quickly get in the car before the rain hit!  Luckily we did have time to find all those graves and I was able to take pictures of the headstones.  Danny took Mamie home and then met up with us to show Mom and Dad his and Lisa's new home, which is 4 minutes or so outside of Elgin.

Mamie's older sister, Willie Faye, and her husband Roy and their family lives in Tacoma Washington. However, Faye and Roy right now are on their way down to Elgin in their motor home to visit Mamie and her family, and now our family!  We will get together again very soon so Mom and Dad can get reacquainted with her!  Mamie says that Faye may be able to answer more of our questions about Grandpa Smith's side of the family.  Our cousin, Troy Smith, is working on his Dad's (Roy Dale Smith) genealogy and one of Mamie's two daughters, Cecilia, is working on her Mom's family's genealogy, so we are anxious to share information with her!  Again, Mamie's mom Cecil was one of our grandfather Sewell's sisters!  Gathering family information, when your ancestors were Smiths, is tough!  Any information that can be shared is invaluable!!  Dad is very interested in me making a family tree for him!  I need all the help I can get! 

One of my major curiosities is about our American Indian heritage.  I somehow knew, or thought I knew, that we had Cherokee heritage on Dad's side of the family.  Mamie said that was correct, but she didn't know from which family member it came.  She thinks Faye can tell us!  I will be so thrilled, if so! 

I will certainly keep the blog updated about our get-togethers with our "new" cousins and with any information they share! 

Ollie and I were out of town again this weekend for him to participate in the Texas Bookseller's Association's sale in Grapevine Texas.  We were blessed to be able to stay with daughter Neely, her husband Carl and our twin 4-year old granddaughters, Livi and Madi!  Ollie worked the sale and I played with the girls!  I kept in phone contact with Mom and Dad all weekend, of course, and she said they were as well as could be expected.  She does not complain and, I am sure, none of us really knows how much pain she really is dealing with.  The morphine does keep her comfortable without making her too groggy, praise God!  

Colossians 3:15 "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful."

Amen!!

 

Home again, home again!!

Ollie and I got back home from our Warrenton sale Sunday evening about 5:00.  It wasn't a record-setting sale, but it was profitable, and we are so prayerfully grateful for that! 

As soon as we unloaded the car and the truck, I headed from Mom and Dad's house!  I couldn't get over there fast enough!  I was so pleasantly surprised at how well Mom and Dad both looked!  I must say that Mom looked better than she had in a few weeks!  Her color was good, her strength was good and her spirit was unfailing, as usual!  They warmly welcomed me home!

Jean, Glenda, Danny and Whitney did a great job of assuring Mom and Dad had food and that all their needs were met while I was gone!  I praise God for a family that works so well together!

As most of you know, Dad was born and raised in Elgin TX.  Recently, Danny and Lisa moved back from Lexington to Elgin.  Their Church and Danny's office are there and they wanted to be somewhat closer to Mom and Dad and the rest of the family.  Danny was outside and saw that his next-door neighbor, an elderly woman, was also outside.  He went over and introduced himself to her.  She asked him if he had any relatives named Smith in Elgin.  He said no, that he and his Dad and one cousin, Troy, were the last of the Smiths.  She said that she used to know some Smiths in Elgin, Harvey, Dorene, Mary Ethel and Roy Dale.  Danny about fell over!!!  He said his mouth just hung open for a few seconds before he could respond!! He asked how she knew them and she replied that her mother was their father's sister!!  Our Grandpa Sewell Smith was her mother, Cecil's, sister!!!  Yes, her name was Cecil! As it turns out, and talk about a weird God-thing, Danny and Lisa are living next-door to Dad's first cousin, Mamie Ruth King!!!  None of us kids have met her nor really knew to ask about her!  Danny also has met Mamie's daughter, Cecilia!  Cecilia has been working on her line of the family's genealogy as has our cousin Troy been working on this side of the Smith clan. Troy is anxious to talk to Mamie and Cecilia and share information!  We do not know, at this point, where Grandpa Smith was born.  We know it was somewhere near Brady Texas, but that's all we know.  We are all hoping that Mamie and Cecilia can provide us that information.  We also want to know where our Great-Grandfather, Clint, was born.  We know Great-Grandmother Ida Lafayette Smith was from Louisiana. If you know more than we, please call and tell Troy or me! 

Someday soon, I will take Mom and Dad on a little ride to Elgin to see Mamie!  It will be a very spontaneous trip, based on how Mom is feeling that day!  We know that we want to make that trip soon. I will keep you posted on the outcome!  We are all so thrilled and hope to include Mamie, Cecilia and all of their family in our next reunion.  Grandpa Smith had one brother, Jim (married to Marie - one daughter Margie Lou), and sisters Cecil, Willie Faye, and twins, of whom I do not know names.  Mom said she remembers that one of the twins drowned when she was young.  If you have any Smith family information, please call and talk to Troy or me!  If you know how to get in touch with Margie Lou, please share that information.  I would like to call her and include her and her family in the reunion also! To me, family is our link to the past as well as the future!  It is so cool to find another link to our past and her daughter, a link to our future!!  As I said, I will post as soon as we go see Mamie!!

Dad has been spending a good bit of time each day entertaining himself playing Solitaire on the computer.  Yesterday, Jean showed Mom how to retrieve her emails on their new account, whsmith9707@gmail.com.  So, if you feel inclined to do so, email away!!  Mom enjoys reading emails and/or greeting cards to Dad!  

I have been doing 12 days-worth of laundry all morning and hope to go over to Mom and Dad's around 3:00 for a visit with some cousins on Mom's side of the family. 

I was sick and you visited me. 
 Matthew 23: 35-40

Thank you all for your visits, calls, cards, flowers, emails and, most important, prayers!  We all sincerely appreciate you!  You are all in Mom and Dad's and all of our thoughts and prayers also!   

Love, Sandi

 

 

Couldn't stay away!

Ollie and I have been in Warrenton TX since last Wednesday for the big antiques show.  I have been checking in with Mom and Dad at least once a day, and I sure have been missing them.  Our show has been rather slow since the weather has been so rainy.  I woke up this morning and decided I just had to make the drive back to Austin and go see Mom and Dad!  Ollie agreed to watch both booths, especially since Sundays are typically slow, and, like I said, as of yet there hasn't been much of a crowd. 

I arrived at Mom and Dad's house about 10:30.  Ad I came through the door, Dad was already up and in his chair and Mom was back in their bedroom.  As she came out she said she had a feeling I was going to come today!  She does have those "feelings", and usually she's right!  It was so good to see them and they both looked great!  They had a good night's rest and were feeling pretty good, all things considered!  

I instantly became aware of how thin Mom is.  I guess I don't notice it so much when I see her every day.  But, after being gone from her for four days, I was much more aware of her weight loss. The weight loss is to be expected, but it still catches me off-guard sometimes.  

I spent a lovely day with them and their visitors!  I got in some hugs and kisses that I'd been sorely missing and my heart now feels refreshed!

A friend and fellow antiques dealer lost her mother recently.  She shared a booklet with me that their Hospice nurse had given them. It Is called "Gone From My Sight...The Dying Experience."  The Hospice nurse who wrote it is a nationally recognized speaker on the dynamics of dying.  She puts the process into black and white and tells you what to expect throughout each stage of illness. She talks about the patient losing their appetite, some of the physical changes their body goes through, their breathing changes, their skin color changes, etc.  This is in the back of the booklet and I liked it, so I thought I would share it with you...

"I am standing upon the seashore.  A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean.  She is an object of beauty and strength.  I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.  

Then someone at my side says: 'There, she is gone!'

'Gone where?'

'Gone from my sight.  That is all.  She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear the load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her.  And just at the moment when someone at my side says: 'There she is gone!' There are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout: 'Here she comes!'

And that is dying. 

~ Henry Van Dyke

I believe in life after death...that our souls go to Heaven and that our loved ones are there waiting for us.  And, to think of them waiting there for Mom and excitedly saying to each other, 'Here she comes', gives me peace and comfort.  I will never be ready to see Mom or Dad go, but knowing there are so, so many loved ones who have gone ahead of them and are waiting there for them gives me such a sense of peace! Not to mention our Lord waiting with His arms wide open!!!  That gives me chill bumps!!

I presume most of you have heard the song, I Can Only Imagine.
I get a lump in my throat every time I listen to it!!  But, really, can you imagine getting to meet Our Lord?!  WOW!!  

I need to get to bed so I can leave early in the morning and head back to Warrenton.


"I can only imagine what it will be like, when I walk by Your side...
I can only imagine, what my eyes will see, when Your Face is before me!
I can only imagine. I can only imagine.
Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! I can only imagine!
I can only imagine, when that day comes, when I find myself standing in the Son!
I can only imagine, when all I will do, is forever, forever worship You!
I can only imagine! I can only imagine!
Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! Yeah! I can only imagine!
Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! Yeah! I can only imagine!
I can only imagine! Yeah! I can only imagine!! Only imagine!!!
I can only imagine.
I can only imagine, when all I do is forever, forever worship You!
I can only imagine."

---

Copyright: ©1999 MercyMe
 
I will be back in touch after October 7th, unless there is something I need to report between now and then!  Love to all!


 

Bittersweet day trip

After the Hospice nurse perked up our attitudes, I told Mom and Dad to please let me know if there was anywhere they wanted to go or anything they wanted to do.  All they had to do was let me know and I would do everything in my power to make it happen! 

So, for Mom and Dad, this past week had a little more adventure in it than usual.   As you know, Jean and I took Mom out to the Ranch at Spicewood last Saturday.  So, now it was Dad's turn.  Thursday night was the monthly poker night with Danny and Ollie and the other guys at the deer camp.  Danny picked Dad up mid-afternoon and took him out there for steaks, poker and amusing camaraderie.  It is such a special treat to the guys to have Dad there and Dad really gets a kick out of them.  They are great friends and usually find plenty of things to give each other a hard time about!  All in good fun, of course!  

Dad had also indicated to Mom that he wanted to go see Uncle Roy's grave.  On Thursday, I talked to Dad about going on Friday.  I assumed that he would want to sleep late on Friday since he would have had a big night with the guys and would be tired.  I told him to have Mom call me when he was up and ready to go, figuring that it would be about 1:30 or so.  Well, I should have known better!!  My phone rang at 9:45 and Mom said Dad was up, dressed, had breakfast and was sitting in his wheelchair ready to go!  I know my Dad well enough that I expected this, so I mad sure I was ready to go whenever Mom called!  Dad and I met up with cousin Troy Smith at his vet clinic in Manchaca so he could ride with us and help us find the grave site.  It was a bittersweet trip for Dad.  I couldn't help but remember the beautiful eulogy Dad gave for Uncle Roy at his funeral.  His last words were, "I already miss you, Bro."
Sitting on Dad's bookcase at his desk in the office is one of Dad's most prized possessions... a picture of him and Uncle Roy headed out in Uncle Roy's bass boat on what was their last fishing trip together.  Dad can't look at it without getting tears in his eyes.  

After going to the cemetery, the three of us went out for a Mexican Food lunch.  Dad really enjoyed his migas with carne guisada and the "salad" of tomatoes and jalapenos"!  It was so funny because the tomatoes and jalapenos were very spicy...Dad would take a bit and say, "Oooooo" because it was so hot.  Then, he'd eat some eggs and take another bite and say the same thing all over again!  He couldn't resist the tasty but spicy food!  It was so nice to see him really enjoy eating something!  That's a rarity!!!

This week Mom has not felt well at all.  She is having a good bit of "discomfort" in her abdomen. The small amount of morphine is still helping her a lot.  She has such patience and tolerance.  She is my inspiration!  Please continue to keep Mom and Dad in your prayers

Ollie and I will be in Warrenton tomorrow through Sunday, October 7th.  I certainly will be checking in with Mom and Dad every day by phone, and Jean, Glenda and Danny will be spending extra time with them.  Please take time to go see them, if you can.  Visitors are welcomed and do help their days and weeks go by more pleasantly. Early afternoon is a good time for them, but please call and schedule so that they don't have more than one group of visitors per day.  Mom is usually up by 10:00 or so, so call and tell her when you can come!  They would love to see you!  Their number is 512/250-9132. 

A Godly Woman

A woman of beauty
A woman of grace
A woman of excellence
Beholding God's face

She walks with the Lord
With integrity
Knowing her purpose
And destiny

No matter what happens
She walks in God's love
Reflecting the beauty
Of her Father above.

© 2003 By M.S.Lowndes