Tuesday with Harvey (and Mildred!)

Ollie and I spent several hours with Mom and Dad yesterday. When we arrived Dad was relaxing in a recliner in their bedroom next to the window so he could see us drive in as well as look out over their place. He and Mom really love it out there! The speech therapist had already come and gone. Mom walked back to the bedroom with us and asked Dad to say hello to us. He responded by looking at us and saying an "ah" sound! It is very good that his brain is responding to his wanting to say a word! Previously, he did not attempt to say anything when asked to do so. The connection is now there!

Pretty shortly after we got there Dad showed me that he needed a manicure! That's been my job for years! Of course I immediately got the clippers and emery board and did his manicure! It's an honor to be able to do that for him! I wish I could do more!

Dad is has a very good appetite and is eating well with his left hand. We all ate lunch and then Dad settled into his napping mode in the living room recliner. I made a deal with Mother that, if she would also get in her recliner, Ollie and I would take her recycling in for her. Bless her heart! Mom just can't throw away cans, plastic, paper or glass! She had enough stuff that it filled up half the bed of the Tundra! I'm not making fun of her...she's a fine example for all of us! Dad's pick-up hasn't been used since his stroke, so Ollie fired it up and we drove it to get the fluids circulated, charge up the battery and deliver the recyclables to the Center in Marble Falls. Mom complied with our agreement and sat in her recliner and caught up on reading some of the newspapers while we were gone. When we got back to their house we loaded Dad into the front seat of the truck and the four of us went for a drive to Dad's nearby developments, Stone Mountain and Cavern Ranches. Dad would point to where he wanted Ollie to turn and that's where we'd go!!! He seemed to enjoy getting out in the truck and cruising around.

Mom saw us out to the car when we left and said how our visit sure made their day go by faster, especially for Dad. She said she is sure that he gets bored just sitting around every day. Please feel free to call Mom and schedule a visit! Therapy is generally scheduled on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Even on those days it is always okay to visit after about 2:30 or so. Believe me, if Dad gets tired he'll just close his eyes and rest, so don't take it personally!!! His brain is still healing and the rest is good for him! However, so is the stimulation of visits!!!

If you'll bear with the length of the following poem, I would like to share it with you. I received it in an email this morning. It was written by a man who was in a geriatric center in Nebraska and was found by the nurses cleaning out his room after he passed away. The old man's sole bequest has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St Louis Association for mental health. And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet. You can go to youtube.com and listen to videos by typing in merely, "Crabby Old Man. My love to all! Sandi

Crabby Old Man

WHAT DO YOU SEE NURSES?...WHAT DO YOU SEE?
What are you thinking . .. . . . when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man . . . . . not very wise,

Uncertain of habit . . . . . with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food . . . . . and makes no reply.

When you say in a loud voice . . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'

Who seems not to notice . .. . . . the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not . . . . . lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . . . The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? .. . . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . . you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am. . . . . . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .. .. . . with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . . . . who love one another.

A young boy of Sixteen .. . . . with wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now . . . . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . . . my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . . that I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . .. . . . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . . .. . With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons . . . . . have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me . . . .. . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children .. . . . . My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me . . . . . my wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . . . . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . .. . . . and the love that I've known

I'm now an old man . . . . . and nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . . grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . . .. . where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass . . . . . a young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . . . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . . life over again.

I think of the years, all too few . . . . . gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . . . open and see.
Not a crabby old man . . . Look closer .. . . see ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet

an older person who you might brush aside

without looking at the young soul within.
We will all, one day, be there, too!

PLEASE SHARE THIS POEM

The best and most beautiful things of
this world can't be seen or touched.
They must be felt by the heart.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

WOW! It seems so weird to say it's 2010! I remember when I was a kid figuring out how old I'd be in the year 2000! That seemed like the space age! Now it's 10 years later! Thank you God for letting me get this far!!!

Mom and Dad came to our house on New Year's Day and stayed about 3 hours. Dad enjoyed being there with most of the other family members and a few of our friends. He was pretty quiet, but Mom said that the therapists had worked him pretty hard on the previous day. She wasn't very happy about that and intends to talk to the about being persistent in helping Dad to make progress but not wearing him out! I think they tried to make up for the days that they'd miss seeing him because of the holidays. You have to give them credit for their interest, but Dad just can't take the overzealousness!

His condition at the moment is status quo, but as we all know his brain is still healing. I was visiting with a friend who is a surgeon in Nevada. He said that the brain is very slow to heal and that things will continue to change and progress even over the length of a year or two. All of us remain prayerful and optimistic. We don't care what the statistics say or what the doctors say, because none of them seem to take into account the Harvey-factor or the God-factor!!! As Isaiah 55:9 says, "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts." God is watching over Dad and is in control! We all live in faith, including Mom and Dad!

Talk to you soon! Love to all! Sandi

Tidbits

Neely reminded me to tell you that Christmas Day the little kids all loved jumping up into their Papaw's lap and giving him kisses and hugs...they are oblivious of the wheelchair! They also don't seem to be affected by Papaw's inability to vocally respond to them. He always says out loud his, "Ha ha ha," has a big smile and reaches out for them with loving hugs. It was a special treat having Neely and Carl's 15 month old twins there to give sweet twincess kisses to their Papaw and Mamaw (aka Grandma and Grandpa), as well as all their great-grandkids, Randy-14, Bradley-12, Kelly-9, Austin-3 and Mia-2-1/2! Yes, there are 7 great-grandchildren (so far!!!).

Neely also caught Papaw trying to sneak Ollie's wallet out of his back pocket! It's great to see that Dad still has his sense of humor!!! It's the greatest thing is to hear him laugh out loud!

Blessed Holidays!

I'm back!!! I am happy to report that all the Smith clan gathered Christmas Day at Glenda's fabulous house! Our day was filled with so much love and togetherness! We all pitched in on the food and had a tasty feast which began with a family prayer of thankfulness. Not one gift was opened until we sang Christmas carols, both hymns and fun songs for the little kids, all accompanied by our talented sister-in-law Lisa! The afternoon sun was gorgeous, despite the cold, so some of us spent time outdoors taking walks and exploring Glenda's scenic property!

Mom was pretty as a picture in her Christmas sweater-vest and hip in her boots and slacks! She and Dad were relishing spending the day with all their kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids...including them, 28 of us, plus Clint's girlfriend Ahou and Mollie's boyfriend PJ!!! What a joy it must be to look over a crowd like that and know that it was all started with the miracle of love! No doubt it's a God-thing! Dad might call it something else!!! LOL!!!

Many times I caught Mom or Dad smiling lovingly at their grandchildren and great-grandchildren. We are so blessed to have the music of laughter and happy voices at our family functions!

Dad is pretty-much status-quo. We are all prayerfully faithful that his brain is continuing to heal and that he will make more noticeable progress. The 3 therapist are still coming 3 days a week, so Mom and Dad's schedule stays pretty full. Dad was having pain in his right hip recently so Mom took him to have it x-rayed. There were no signs of fracture and it was diagnosed as being something typical of a man Dad's age.

Mom is still taking on way too much and we are lovingly attempting to get her to let loose of more tasks, but she doesn't let go easily! It's difficult to change habits that started 63 years ago!!!

Glory to God in highest heaven,

Who unto man His Son hath given;
While angels sing with tender mirth,
A glad new year to all the earth. ~Martin Luther

Heartfully from ALL the Mildred and Harvey Smith family to you and your loved ones, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

What a gorgeous day!

Ollie, Austin and I went to Mom and Dad's this afternoon for a couple of hours. When we arrived, Dad was outside on the sidewalk in the wheelchair. Austin got out of the car and ran right to his Papaw! Dad laughed out loud (that good ol' Harvey-laugh) and said "I!" It was wonderful to hear!!! The way he laughed and spoke, I just thought he was going to go right on and say something more to Austin! "I" was as far as he could get, but that's progress! I just know that one of these days his brain will be healed and he will be able to talk to us! It's so exciting and makes us all continue to feel so optimistic!!!

Cousin Troy Smith came to visit while we were there. He'd been fishing at Johnson Park in Marble Falls and came by. Mom and Dad loved seeing him! We all sat out on the back porch to appease Austin who wanted to use Mamaw's shovel and bucket and dig! He didn't want to be out there without someone to play with!!! Mom and Dad really enjoyed his cute antics! Troy also kept us entertained! He's a character, to say the least!!!

Dad is going to have his hip x-rayed next week. Now that the therapists have been focusing on Dad getting in and out of his wheelchair and trying to get him to use his walker, he has been having pain in his right hip. It has kept him from making much physical progress. The therapist recommended having it x-rayed...the night of the stroke, Dad apparently fell out of the bed and landed on his right side. It's a good idea to be sure that there isn't an issue there causing the pain. It hadn't bothered him until he has been putting his weight on it when trying to walk. Once we know there is no fracture, the therapist can progressively work on building Dad's strength. We pray there is no fracture so that he doesn't have to endure any surgery or any more pain.

Dad also has pain in his right shoulder, but the therapist believes that is because of the lack of muscle tone to hold the rotator cuff in place. It is not an uncommon thing to happen when a stroke affects an arm like it has Dad's. Dad wears a sling to support the shoulder or a pillow under his arm when he doesn't have on the sling.

As I mentioned in a previous blog, I will be out of town Dec 15 - 20. Once I have the results of the x-ray, I'll try to get it posted as soon as possible. Meanwhile, thank you for your continued prayers and outpouring of love! God's blessings to all of you, especially during this blessed season!

Holiday Season!

Ho Ho Ho everyone! 'Tis the season to be jolly and thankful for all our blessings! We are especially thankful that Dad is home and making progress! His spirit is good and he still has that mischievous sparkle in his eyes!

I haven't been to see Mom and Dad this week but hope to go tomorrow. I spoke to Kimberly, Dad's caretaker, Friday and she said that it was a good week. The speech therapist is working with vowel sounds. Kimberly reported that Dad can say A, E, O, but not I and U just yet. Practice, practice, practice! The physical therapist is now working Dad's leg strength. He will gain so much independence when he can get up out of the bed or recliner and into the wheel chair on his own.

I will be out of town Dec 15 through 20, but I will try to make another posting if I get to go to see Mom and Dad tomorrow!

Meanwhile, peace and joy to all of you! Christ is the reason for the season!!! Love, Sandi Claus!!!

Good Week!

This week sure went by quickly! Seems like they all do lately! I went to Mom and Dad's Monday to welcome the new caretaker, Kimberly. She has a very calm, polite personality and a gentle aura. I spent a little time setting up a daily schedule for her in caring for Dad and a list of daily and weekly duties. I think that will help both her and Mom.

Dad was in great spirits! He was able to easily get up and down out of his recliner and to the wheelchair with Brian's help. Thanksgiving Day he wasn't moving around as easily, so he still has days where he is less strong than others. Come to mention it, so do I!!!

Mom and Kimberly have been adjusting to each other all week. It's been a comfortable adjustment. Kimberly called me Friday and said that she believed that she and Dad were bonding and that she loved working with him and Mom. That was nice! Of course, I can't imagine a nicer place to have to work...a beautiful home and property and wonderful people!

Danny visited Mom and Dad on Thursday before he headed to the deer camp. He balanced Dad standing next to him and had Dad walk back and forth across the living room! Danny left a note for the therapists to FOCUS on getting Dad strong enough to get in and out of bed to the wheelchair, up and down out of his recliner and in and out of the restroom on his own, as well as walk with his walker. They have been exercising him faithfully, but not really focusing on making him more independent. That is our ultimate goal.

Mom's been able to go to Church the last few Sundays, and we are so grateful that Brian is there to enable that. Someone has also been kind enough to bring Dad communion about once a week which means so much to him and Mom. We appreciate that so much!

If you would like to do something to help Mom, I have an idea! If you have a tasty casserole that is easy for you to make and freeze, Mom's biggest task is still planning and cooking meals. I plan to make a few things that I can label, freeze and take to her. That way all she or the caretakers have to do is to thaw it and have a meal ready! Now, Mom may not think I should ask this of you, but I don't think she'll complain about the food! The last thing Mom would EVER want to do is to sound needy!!! Just about the only thing Dad doesn't like is broccoli!

The Smith family Christmas tradition will change this year. In years past we have always gone to Mom and Dad's house. This year it will be too much for Mom to handle, so we'll celebrate Christmas Day at Glenda's house. Some of the older grandkids were struggling with the change. We'll have to hold past traditions in our hearts and be open to making new traditions. I read that "Tradition simply means that we need to end what began well and continue what is worth continuing." That supports how I feel about the Smith Christmas...Mom and Dad started our tradition well and we will continue it, even though it will be in a different house, because it is worth continuing! What is important is to be together and share our love with each other. Websters says that tradition is, " the handing down of statements, beliefs, legends, customs, information, etc., from generation to generation, esp. by word of mouth or by practice." So, it doesn't matter where it happens, just so that it does happen! I look so forward to being with my family on Christmas Day! After all...I am Sandi Claus!!!

Love to all! SC