Mom when to Heaven on Thursday, December 27, 2012

Mildred Mary Grohman Smith was born near Rockne, Texas on May 3, 1926, the daughter of Clara and Adolph Grohman and sister of Clarence, Michael (Mitchell) and Carl Bennett Grohman.  Mildred spent her life in faithful service to God, her husband, her four children, their extended family and many friends.  Mildred graduated from Bastrop High School and moved to Austin to work for the State of Texas Highway Department where she met W. Harvey Smith, the love of her life.  After they were married in 1946 they made their first home together in Austin before following Harvey’s job to Wyoming, New Mexico and then El Paso, eventually coming back to Austin and making it their home.  

In 1977 they moved to the Texas Hill Country where they were active members of St. John the Evangelist Catholic Church in Marble Falls.  Mildred loved her fellow parishioners and viewed them as extended family - she joyfully served her Church as a lay reader, a Eucharistic Minister and in many other ways.  

Mildred was a strict water conservationist, devoted recycler and friend to the environment many years before those became popular.  She was an avid gardener and had such a green thumb that Harvey would say she could put a stick in the ground and it would grow! She loved wildflowers and hummingbirds and spent many hours making red sugar water to feed those who were lucky enough to find themselves in her backyard.

Mildred and Harvey celebrated their 66th wedding anniversary in May 2012. The loving couple moved back to Austin in July 2012 to be nearer to their family.  Mildred was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer shortly thereafter.  Her family was blessed to be with her for the precious final months of her life.  Preceding her in death were her parents and three brothers.

Mildred is survived by her devoted husband W. Harvey Smith, and her family she loved so dearly:  daughter Jean and husband Jimmie Plentl; daughter Glenda Flanagan; daughter Sandi and husband Ollie Crinkelmeyer; son Danny and wife Lisa Smith; grandchildren Jennifer and her husband David Koenig, Neely and her husband Carl Meyers, Nicole and her husband Matt Johnson; Whitney Davis and her father Lodney C. Davis, Clint Flanagan and Mollie Flanagan and their father Lloyd Flanagan; and seven great-grandchildren, Randy, Bradley, Kelly, Austin, Mia, Livi and Madi, as well as a large and wonderful extended family.  

The family wishes to extend love and gratitude to the many close friends and family of Mildred and Harvey as well as to the staff and caretakers from Home Care Assistance and from Hospice Austin.

The services are as follows:

Visitation on Sunday December 30 at 3 pm followed by Rosary/Vigil Service at 4:30 pm 

Cook-Walden Funeral Home 

6100 North Lamar Blvd, Austin TX

Funeral Mass on Monday December 31 at 10 am followed by a light lunch

St. John the Evangelist Catholic Church 

105 FM 1431 Marble Falls, TX

Graveside Service 2 p.m.

Forest Oaks Memorial Park

6300 W. Wm Cannon Drive

Austin, TX

Blessings of Christmas

Christmas is not a day, it is a season and a spirit in the air.   The majority of our immediate family gathered yesterday at Mom and Dad's house and spent most of the day.  Grandson Austin was with his Dad and Nicole, Matt and Mia spent Christmas in Northern California with Matt's family this year. 

Mom was able to open her eyes and greet each of us and then would fall right back to sleep.  We would take turns sitting with her.  Her heartbeat still seems strong, she has good circulation in her feet and toes, and there in no pneumonia present in her lungs.  Her breathing is very shallow, but consistent.  She seems contented and comfortable, as long as we stay on-time with her meds.

Dad has declined, in my opinion, considerably over the past week.  I am not so sure that he has not had a mini-stroke.  The strength in his left side (his "good" side) is greatly dimenished, his is much less attentive and expressive, has difficulty swallowing, and refuses foods, so he is very weak oveerall.  He did perk up a little bit yesterday when it was time to pass out our Christmas envelopes from him and Mom.  We turned his recliner so he could watch the activities of the day, which mostly consisted of gathering around the snacks on the table!!  Danny fixed him a red beer and he did drink a few swallows of it.  He also ate a small Coke float that I made him in the afternoon.  He did a lot of napping, but I know he really treasured having us all here.

All of us kids and our familes will re-convene at Glenda's house on Saturday so our children can celebrate the holiday together and we can exchange gifts. Togetherness is big in our family and Jean, Glenda, Danny and I plan to focus on that for the remainder of our lives! We were appreciating each other yesterday and realizing that our children don't have the blessings of multiple siblings, so we need to continue encouraging them to nurture their relationships for future supoprt!! 

I pray that each of you had a safe and blessed day with loved ones.  I promise to keep you all updated on Mom and Dad to the best of my ability!  God's blessings!  Sandi

Our Mom is the most amazing person I know!!

On Wednesday, December 19, Mom popped open her eyes and said that she wanted to get up! We were leery, but we absolutely did as she requested and helped her to sit on the side of the bed!  That was her most lucid day in over a week!  From the side of the bed then, she wanted to sit in the wheelchair and go into the living room with Daddy!  That made her so happy and he was totally shocked! It was priceless to witness! I don't think I would have believed it if I hadn't seen it! She didn't stay up long, no doubt she is weak from being bedridden, but she got back in to bed with such a since of accomplishment!  She took a VERY peaceful and long nap afterwards!

She was up a few times on Thursday also, but hasn't asked to get out of bed since Thursday.  I do believe that being up did clear away some of the cobwebs and she has been more "herself" since.

Mom and Dad were sleeping so soundly yesterday that I slipped out and did some Christmas shopping and went to Austin's kindergarten Christmas party!  Both were a real treat!  As I was headed back to Mom and Dad's house, the caretaker called and said that Mom woke up and said she wanted a beer!!!  I cracked up!!!  So, no doubt, I went and bought a six-pack of Bud and took it to her!  She had such a mischievous smile on her face when I walked in and said, "So, I hear you want to drink a beer!"  When I held one up and told her that her wish was my command, she laughed and drank about 3 little sips!  That was all she wanted, and the smiles were worth a million dollars!!  And, to her, so was the good burp!  Made her feel better, and that's what it's all about!!!

Mom is staying very comfortable with the aid of liquid morphine and a morphine pill administered off and on throughout the day and night.  The caretakers are repositioning her every two hours to keep down the risk of her developing more sore spots.  She drinks a few sips of Boost once or twice a day and ate a tiny bit of watermelon yesterday.  Oh, and don't forget the beer!!!!  It is nutritional, right?!! Well, at least the additional calories didn't hurt her!! 

Dad, sadly, continues to be in a steady decline.  He has made it clear that he has made the decision to be ready to go when Mom does by often refusing his medications and by drastically reducing his nutritional intake, and, as a result, he is sleeping about 20 out of 24 hours.  He is very thin.  Our cousin said in an email that Mom has been holding on while waiting for Dad to catch up with her!  Talk about having an "aha moment" when I read that!!!  Yes, praises Jesus, that is exactly what is going on!!!  None of us kids like watching what is happening with Dad, but we must accept his wishes. I look to our precious Lord for guidance, and know that Dad is doing the same thing.  

Forgive me for not sending out Christmas cards this year. Mom, Dad, all of our family and I wish each of you and all your loved ones a blessed Christmas and a safe and happy New Year!  



Love, Sandi 

Unpredictable

As it was with Dad in March, Mom's condition is unpredictable.  It was a week Monday that she became confined to a hospital bed.  There have been so many moments when we thought her end was imminent and then she rallies.  When I say "rally", I mean that she wakes up and says things to us, like that she wants to go home, isn't it time to leave, etc.  She knows all of us kids, but visitors do tend to confuse her.  She asks us to get her up, but we discourage that.  Although today we are asking the hospice nurse if she thinks we can get her up.  It's so hard when we are not provided with a crystal ball!  One minute it will seem that Mom is about to take her last breath, and then she pops her eyes open and says something cute, like "Why is Daddy's wheelchair hanging from the ceiling?!"  She asks very lucid questions or makes very clear comments, and then she says something really cute.  We are totally supportive, no matter what she says.  My daughter Whitney is a forensic psychology major in college.  She explained to me that our brains really never forget anything that we see, hear or learn in our lives, but that we store things in parts of our brains that most of us can't access.  When we are in a non-cognitive state, those things can surface! 

We remain on a 24/7 schedule, watching over Mom and caring for her.  We are making sure to reposition her in the bed because she is beginning to get a few sore spots.  It is not for us to question God, but it does make us wonder why He has not called her to her place in Heaven. May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant. Psalm 119:76  

Jean, Glenda, Danny and I are trying to be very supportive of each other, but I believe exhaustion is setting in on all of us.  I find myself having difficulty completing thoughts and taking longer to do simple tasks.  We are pursuing some different ideas on how each of us can get more rest.  It is scary for me to think of leaving Mom alone at all because one of her biggest fears has always been that she would die without one of us there.  I made a promise to her that I would not let that happen.  Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.  Therefore, I will be steadfast, immovable, abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that my labor in the Lord is not in vain.  Corinthians 15:57-58


Dad continues to sleep the vast majority of his 24 hours.  He is losing weight because he will not eat.  We still can get him to drink his Boost off and on during the day, and every once in a while he will let one of us cook an egg for him or something light like that. At least he is getting some kind of nutrition.  No doubt, we all suspect that he wants to go with Mom.  Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.  Ephesians 5:25
Mom and Dad's love goes beyond words and is the epitome of God's teachings. 

Our family is so, so grateful to all of you for your prayers, cards and well wishes.  We have stopped allowing visitors because it seems to confuse Mom and Dad just doesn't stay awake.  I will do my utmost to keep all of you posted on both of them.  Love, Sandi
 

As Mom's time draws near...

Off and on during the day, Dad has us take him into Mom's room and he sits in his wheelchair  beside her and holds her hand. He bows his head and cries.  It is heart-wrenching.  The human love that we are witnessing is beyond compare.   

It's been a very long week for Mom.  As of Monday, she has been in her hospital bed. She simply got too weak to use her legs any longer.  Each day we have witnessed her already frail body wither to nothing but skin and bones. Despite her frailty, she is still so beautiful!  Her responsiveness has been less each day and today she spoke very little and only opened her eyes a few times.  I called  our cousin Ron Lawson, who is the oncologist in the family, and he assured us that we were doing everything right and that keeping her as pain-free and comfortable as possible are the most important things we can do for her, other than pray for her, I might add! 

Jean, Glenda, Danny and I are rotating shifts to be with Mom and Dad 24/7. THe caretakers are also there so that someone is with Mom in her room and with Dad wherever he is. Glenda is there tonight, so I came home about 10 p.m.   I find it difficult to be away from there even when it is not my turn to spend the night.  I am so incredibly blessed to have such a self-sufficient and understanding husband who puts absolutely no pressure on me to be anywhere other than with Mom and Dad.  Thank you Lord God for Ollie!

Dad is very depressed and is sleeping probably 18-20 hours out of 24.  He is also very thin and won't eat much at all.  I don't kow what we'd do if he wouldn't drink Boost, which has all the nutrition of a full meal, we are told.  A friend of mine told me that her Dad lived for 2 years on absolutely nothing more that Boost.  Jean or I can usually talk him into letting us cook him something, even if it's just a grilled cheese sandwich, or, like tonight, a fried egg sandwich.  It makes us feel better to see him eat something...must be the Mildred in us!!  Praise God!  Amen!!

During the week, when Mom has been unsettled, I have been playing a CD that a dear friend brought her a month or so ago. In fact, Mom told me she wants us to play it before her service! It is by Jim Reeves and he is singing good old gospel songs. Many of the songs seem so relevant, especially one entitled Take My Hand Precious Lord...   

Precious Lord, take my hand
Lead me on,
Let me stand
I'm tired, I am weak, I am worn
Through the storm, through the night
Lead me on to the light
Take my hand precious Lord, lead me home.
 ©COPYRIGHT 2012, LYRICS007.COM, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED


Since Monday, Mom has asked a few times why she is still here and said that she is ready to go home.  All we know to tell her is that God hasn't made the decision to take her to Heaven just yet, but we are grateful for our time with her, but she should go when God calls her.  She says that she is ready to go, and I do believe that her time is very near. Thank you to each one of you for your prayers and please continue to pray that our Lord will be merciful on Mom and Dad. My faith assures me that God will send a very special angel to guide Momma from her earthly home, through the light and to her glorious home in Heaven.  Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord.

2 Corinthians 5:8

Amen!

  

Turn to me and have mercy on me

Turn to me and have mercy on me...Psalm 86:16.  Mother prayed over the weekend for our Lord to be merciful on her and let this be over.  Friday was an exceptionally frightening day for her.  She had a severe bout of paranoia, which was a result, as it turned out, of a urinary tract infection.  It was one of the saddest things I have ever witnessed.  The fear was very real to her, but with the help of medication and her trust in us kids, we calmed her down and she was finally okay.  From that point, she has steadily declined.  Yesterday, she was in more pain than I have ever seen her, and was requiring a lot more morphine than her routine doses.  We put her in her hospital bed once the doses of morphine finally kicked in.  Jean had been with her the Sunday night and all during the day Monday, so she said goodbye to Jean when I arrived to take my shift and Jean left.  By God's works, Danny had been in town taking care of some things for his business, so he came by.  Mother asked me to call Glenda and tell her to come. She would not take another dose of morophine until Glenda got here.  Once she arrived, Mom told the three of us goodbye.  The hardest thing was watching her tell Daddy goodbye.  He sat on thhe side of her bed, kissed her, and then stayed in the recliner in her bedroom until about 1 a.m. this morning, when we moved him to his bed. 

Last night was absolutely precious...after Mom had said goodbye to all of us, she closed her eyes and was so peaceful.  All of a sudden her eyes popped open and she exclaimed, "Dying is not as easy as I thought it would be!"  Bless her heart, I think she was in so much pain that she thought she could just close her eyes and let herself go.  Our sweet Lord was not quite ready for that to happen, though.  For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die.
Ecclesiastes 3:1  We trust that He will send His angels to take Mom by then hand and lead her to her heavenly home in the Lord's time, not ours.  Meanwhile, we will keep her safe and comfortable.We kids are on a 24/7 schedule.  Mom's greatest concern was dying without one of us here, so we vowed to her that wouldn't happen. 

Dad spends the vast majority of his time sleeping.  I think that is just fine...his way of coping.  We had his catheter removed Monday, and he is much more comfortable.  Dad has been pain free since the medications have stopped the bladder spasms.  We are so grateful for that. 

Thank you all for your loving prayers.  Please continue to pray for God's mercy for Mom and for Dad. 

 "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139:16).

Progress

After Dad had a long week with blader issues, I think we have a good balance of medicines, finally!  What was determined that, if Dad got over 20cc's of urine in his bladder, it would spasm.  That was sometimes painful and always sent him to the restroom.  20cc's is only about 4 teaspoons, so you can imagine how that affected the frequency in which Dad had to get up out of bed or his recliner.  For someone in a wheelchair, that is not an easy task.  Also, it's pretty tough to sleep when having such frequency.  Starting Sunday afternoon, the frequency became much less and that has continued throughout the day today.  Last night Dad was up a lot, but I think tonight will be much better. 

Fortunately, as much as Dad was up last night, Mom slept right through it.  That is unusual, but we are thankful for her good night's rest.  She woke not feeling well at all, but she had not had any liquid morphine during the night.  I think her pain caught up with her. Tonight, we will try to give her morphine every few hours without disturbing her too much and see if she wakes feeling better tomorrow.  All we can do is persevere and see what works!  And PRAY...we pray a lot!!! 

"O Almighty God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, we pray to You for Your servants Mildred and Harvey Smith, whose sickness is bringing them to the end of their earthly lives..

You are the God whose only-begotten Son taught us that not even the smallest sparrow can fall without Your knowledge, and that You hold all creation in Your merciful arms. Let their thoughts be quieted with the peace and confidence of their final deliverance into the fullness of Your love.

Keep their souls and bodies pure, and sanctify them during the time they remain among us, that on the last day they may be raised up with all Your saints to live with You in never ending glory.

For to You belong praise and worship, to the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages." Amen" From the Orthodox Church of The Mother of God; Prayer for One Terminally Ill 

Mom and Dad have both had a bite of lunch and are napping.  My faith assures me that our precious Lord will know when is the right time to take them to their Heavenly home.  Until then, we provide total loving care and support.  I rpaise God for the wonderful caretakers, the four women who are on our team, the hospice nurses and doctors and our family! 

Long week...

Oh my, it has been a long week Dad having new symptoms and issues.

First about Mom...she is rocking along pretty status quo.  Her abdomen is getting even bigger (she calls it her pregnancy!) and she is swollen from her toes to above her knees,  Fortunately, she has adapted well to liquid morphine and takes it most of the time without hesitiation, so she stays comfortable.   Since Mom hasn't had any drainage from the tube that is in her chest wall, the nurse is talking to the Hospice doctor about taking it out.  For weeks we have been told that Mom would have to go to the hospital to have it removed,  The nurse is now thinking that it could be done right here at home.  We should have an answer about that on Monday when the Hospice doctor comes to check Mom and Dad.  The drainage tube isn't casuing any discomfort, but it is difficult to keep it bandaged, the bandaging causes itching, Mom has gotten a yeast infection under the bandage because it is dark and damp...a breeding ground for bacteria. So, it is an unnecessary aggravation to Mom.  I pray that the doctor will approve letting the nurse take it out (as long as it is safe for Mom, no doubt!)!  That will make Mom so happy!  Little things mean a lot!! From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another. John 1:16


Dad's bladder cancer has reared its ugly head and caused him issues.  He has always had some bladder issues off and on since his stroke, but they have been much greater this week.  He has been suffering this week with pain, and we now, after a couple of different attempts, have found a pairing of medications that is helping.  We also catheterized him, which has helped relieve a  lot of his problems. After having to get up at least once, and sometimes three times in a 30 minute period of time throughout the night, we may have found the right combination of care for him.  I am anxious to see how he does tonight.  Not only will this be a huge benefit for Dad, but it will also allow Mom a better night's sleep, of course. 

A friend of ours told my husband Ollie once that growing old is not for wusses!  I know now exactly what he meant!!  God bless Mom and Dad, they are enduring so much!  Through their faith, they remain strong!
It is through faith and through the power of all of the prayers being said for them that they make it through each day. 

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, let me say one more thing as I close this letter. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned from me and heard from me and saw me doing, and the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:6-9



Amen!