All is "well"...

Good morning!  Ollie and I are in East Texas on a shopping trip for our business, but I remain in frequent contact with Mom.   Things at the Smith house have gotten into a new "routine."  Dad is not in pain but does have infrequent discomfort in his abdomen.  Tylenol is managing that on an as-needed basis.  Mom says Dad sleeps most of the day but goes to the living room in the evening to watch television.  His favorite channel is the Western channel, of course!  He will watch an old Western movie until about 11 p.m. and then will go to bed for the night.  He is up less frequently than he was a week ago, so the weekday night-time caretaker, Christina, keeps herself busy by cleaning the central part of the house!  It's refreshing to have a helper who wants to stay busy! 

Mom is doing well and getting much better rest sleeping in the other side of the house.  I know it's lonely for her to be over there and Dad to be in their room.  After all, they have not slept apart for almost 66 years!  Yes, they will celebrate their 66th wedding anniversary on May 5th.  Also, Mom's 86th birthday is May 3rd.  If you'd like to send a birthday or anniversary card, their address is 6850 CR 120, Marble Falls TX 78654.

I'll be going out there in the next few days and will give you a more detailed report then.  I appreciate each and every one of you so much for your thoughts and prayers on Mom and Dad's behalf. 

I am happy to report that Lori and Matt Bisson's baby son Sam is getting stronger and healthier! Praise God!  Please continue to pray for him, his family and his caregivers!

Have a safe and wonderful day!

He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Micah 6:8

Amen!

Let us rejoice!

I  have been keeping in close contact with Mom and the caretakers.  As the days go by, Dad gets more and more back into his "routine" as it was prior to getting very ill with the urinary tract issues.  Mom said he is sleeping better at night, but wants to stay  up and watch movies, mostly westerns, until 11:00 or later!  Then, he likes to sleep until about noon each day!  That's okay with us now that Mom has 24 hour help!  The worst part was that, without help, Mom was staying up until midnight or so with Dad, up and down a few times during the night, and she would get up by 8:00 and Dad would stay in bed.  She was exhausting herself.  With round-the-clock help, Mom can now can sleep late and not worry that Dad is not being taken care of!  Praise God!
This is what we have been wanting for her for a LONG time!  


Ollie and I are taking Austin out of school today and going to the Deer Camp for the day!  It's like a little piece of Heaven when we get to do this!  Austin and his Grandpa will fish, we'll go hiking in the woods with Austin scouting ahead, and we hope to play in the lake, if it's not too cold!  A pretty good day for a 5-year old boy and his Grandma and Grandpa!  Since the ranch is at Spicewood, we plan to go through Marble Falls on the way home and go see Mom and Dad.  I'm suffering from withdrawls after being with them for so many days!  I may be 56 years old, but I'm still a Momma's baby, and proud of it!!!  I may have used this before, but I love it... 


Who can find a virtuous woman? She is far more precious than jewels...
Strength and honor are her clothing, and she can laugh at the time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and loving instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the activities of her household and is never idle.
Her sons rise up and call her blessed.
He husband also praises her:
Many women are capable, but you surpass them all!
Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.
~Proverbs 31:10, 25-30

I am so pleased to announce the birth of cousins Lori and Matt Bisson's son Sam.  Lori and Sam need your prayers that they gain strength and health so they may go home from the hospital without any issues, and join big brother Will.  Father, God, we thank you for this sweet little boy and for his conception and birth.  We ask in the name of Jesus Christ for Your healing touch on Sam and his mommy Lori.  Heal them now so we may rejoice in the good news about their recovery and continued health.  St Jude, worker of miracles, and all the angels and saints, pray for them.  Amen.   

Ollie and I are headed east tomorrow on a 2-day buying trip.  I promise to let you know if there is any major news this week.  Meanwhile, I pray that each of you have a safe and blessed day and week! Go with God!

Go With God lyrics
Songwriters: Arends, Carolyn; Harrington, Connie;

Farther than lands you have ever imagined
Deeper than even the oceans of blue
An open horizon is waiting like morning
Waking the dreamer who's living in you

So now go with the wind at your back
And the sun on your face
With a song in your heart
And the promise of grace

Go in peace and in truth
And let love lead your way
Go with God.

Stronger than will in the soul of a fighter
Higher than hope in the heart of a child
There is a longing, a yearning inside us
That's reaching for Heaven and won't be denied

If you go with the wind at your back
And the sun on your face
With a song in your heart
And the promise of grace

Go in peace and in truth
And let love lead your way
Go with God.

Go with the wind at your back
And the sun on your face
With a song in your heart
And the promise of grace

Go in peace and in truth
And let love lead your way
Go with God.

AMEN!!!

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book. ~Irish Proverb.

Thursday was a very interesting day!  When Mom and I joined Dad in the bedroom early Thursday morning, he was extremely depressed.  Mom and I stayed very close to him because he was indicating that he was feeling bad, but was not in pain.  As the morning grew older, Dad's mood improved quite a bit.  In fact, I felt comfortable enough that, with Jerry here,  I convinced Mom to get out of the house with me for a little while!  She and I went to Marble Falls, ran a few errands and went out to lunch!  I think it was good for her to get out and have a change of scenery!  She and I got home about 2:30 and Danny was there!  Danny is Dad's best medicine.  While we were gone, he had gotten Dad into the wheelchair and taken him outside to see Mom's rose bush and bluebonnets, and took him out to the shop for a while.  Dad absolutely refuses to go outside with me or Mom, but Dad will do just about anything Danny says!  Dad and Mom enjoyed listening to Danny and me reminisce about our favorite Christmases and other amusing stories from our childhood. We all laughed a lot!  It was so priceless to hear Dad and Mom laugh!  Danny stayed until about 4:00 and left to go to the deer camp for the monthly steak dinner and poker game.  Danny tried to get Dad to go with him, but Dad did put his foot down on that one and said no.  We knew he wouldn't be able to nor want to go, but Danny couldn't go without asking.  

Dad wanted to go to his recliner in the living room after Danny left.  He pointed to the television and wanted it on, which is very much out of the ordinary of late!  Not only did he want to watch tv, he asked for his glasses and hearing aids!  That meant he was really going to watch it instead of nap while it was on!! We all (yes, even Mom!!!) sat and watched "The Death of a Gunfighter" with Richard Widmark and then a Hallmark Channel movie, "The Simple Life of Noak Dearborn," starring Sidney Poitier.  Dad would wait until a commercial to go to the restroom.  As Christina, the night-time caretaker, wheeled him past me, he would raise his eyebrows, kind of cock his head and grin this funny grin at me as if to say, 'pause the movie if it comes back on before I get back!'  Amazingly, Dad stayed completely awake and alert for both movies!!  When the movie was over, we all talked about how much we liked it and Dad nodded a big 'yes' that he liked it!  Of course, very shortly, he was ready to go to bed!  It was such a fun night!  One that I will hold precious in my heart!

I always get up early enough to talk to the night-time caretaker before he or she leaves so I can get a report.  Christina said that Dad had his best night since she's been here!  He did have some pain in his abdomen and asked for Tylenol, but, otherwise, it was a good night. Twice during the night he slept for four hours straight! That's the longest he has slept, day or night, since I have been here!  I can't wait to see how he's feeling, once he is fully awake.  Currently he is in his bedroom chair and has been up to use the restroom, but went right back to sleep.  Usually, he is more fully awake by mid-morning.  Mom and I talked this morning and hope to establish a new pattern of watching movies at night to encourage Dad to stay up until at least 10:00, in hopes that it will relax him yet tire him enough to sleep during the night.  However, "the best laid plans of mice and men go awry."  This journey is absolutely taken one step at a time and there is no routine, pattern or consistency.  So, we will take it as it comes and try what we think is appropriate at the time according to how Dad is feeling or his mood. 

After Dad went to bed last night, Mom and I walked down to the road to put out the garbage can.  It was a beautiful, cool, starry night and we walked and talked and enjoyed that little bit of exercise!  "Lift up your eyes on high and see: who created these? He who brings out their host by number, calling them all by name, by the greatness of his might, and because he is strong in power not one is missing."  Isaiah 40:26



We are breaking in a new daytime caretaker today, Greg.  Jerry is out for the next 10 days, so Greg will be the weekday caretaker and Christing will be here for the nights.  That changes on the weekends.  Monica will be here from tonight at 8 p.m. until Sunday night at 8 p.m.  I am going home tonight for one or two nights, and Glenda will be here tomorrow during the day.  I will be back Sunday in case Monica needs a nap during the day.  I don't want Mom having to help Dad by herself.  He is weaker and it takes more help to get him up and down.  I don't want Mom hurting her back or wearing herself out.  We've gained too much ground with her to backtrack!  She is doind a great job of allowing the caretakers to do any of the lifting of Dad and with most of his care!  She's still voerseeing, but I wouldn't want that to change!  Dad watches for her and wants her to be near him, and, of course, she wants to be near him also.  I still count our blessings that she will sleep in the other bedroom and get her rest!  If she gets up at night, she goes in and checks on Dad, but then she goes back to the other bedroom and goes back to sleep. We can worry about her less when she is getting her rest! 

I will be back with you on Sunday or Monday, unless there is significant news to report.  Meanwhile, I pray that you and your loved ones are safe and healthy!  One of my favorite quotes popped into my head just now, so I guess I am meant to share it...Don't tell God how big your problem is...tell your problem how big GOD is!!!   AMEN!!!!!  Have a happy weekend!  Love, Sandi

Bless you all!

We want to say a special thank you to all of the friends and family that have come to see Mom and Dad, whom have called or emailed to check on them, those whom have sent cards, prayers and Mass intentions! You and your words of comfort are so greatly appreciated! If you call and want to visit and Mom or I ask you to come a different day, please call and ask again! Visitors do perk Dad up! Please come and come again!


I was sick, and you visited me. Matthew 25:36

John 3:16

Dad had a little bit more of a restful night in that he slep, at one point, for three hours straight. That is out of the ordinary, so we are thankful! This morning he was up and down pretty often, despite the fact that he wanted to sleep. He ate half a slice of toast with jelly and some of his nutritional drink for breakfast and has been trying to sleep between trips to the bathroom.


Every Wednesday, Deacon Pat from St John's Church comes to visit Mom and Dad and bring them communion. He has done that for a long time, well before this illness episode. When he came today, Dad was very solemn and quiet. He did greet the Deacon, but not with his usual smiles and ah's. I don't know if he is overtired, not feeling well, or exactly what is going on with Dad today. Deacon Pat was here briefly and Dad went back to sleep before he even left. Mom is very tired today also and didn't know its source. I told her that her body was traumatized yesterday by the having to have her hand treated and that today she should rest and let it heal. She agreed and has gone back to their bedroom to rest in there with Dad. I am wondering if his solemnity is concern for Mom. He remains very sensitive to her. They can read each other like a book, no doubt!


The Gospel that Deacon Pat read today was John 3:16...For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. I took that greatly to heart because it is such a joyful verse. On Easter Sunday, I shared a prayer with the family and said that I feel more thankful at Easter than I do at Thanksgiving. I am so humbled by the fact that God our Almighty Father sacrificed his son for me so that I might have life. I cannot fathom a greater gift! "I will praise God's name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving." Psalm 69:30


I think I may take advantage of the quiet and have a little nap also! Mark Twain said,"What a robust people, what a nation of thinkers we might be, if we would only lay ourselves on the shelf occasionally and renew our edges!" I think I will go renew my edges!!!

Pretty good day...

Dad had a typical night, sadly, of gettingup and down every 30-45 minutes to go to the restroom. We are so blessed to have caretakers who are geared for being up all night and who treat Dad with such patience and gentle care. Without them, Mom and I would be zombies! Mom has maxed out on being able to care for Dad through the night and again all day. It just became too much for her, God bless her. We had a new male caretaker last night, Greg, and he did a great job. Jerry was here throught the day and Christina is here tonight. We truly have been blessed with great loving, patient and skilled people.


I left this morning at 6 a.m. and headed to Austin to have breakfast with Ollie and then to spend the morning with Whitney to support her at mediation with her ex-husband in their custody battle over our grandson Austin. Please keep Whitney and Austin in your prayers as her ex was not willing to work with her and settle out of court. So, they go to court in June.


Jean came to spend the day with Mom and Dad. Mom has had an issue with the pointer-finger on her right hand. She had gotten a fungal infection in the cuticle that invaded the nail and caused a mucous cyst on the nail. It was quite interesting to see...something I had never seen before. She's been soaking it daily, under the instruction of her dermatologist,to clear up the fungal infection and went back today to have the cyst removed. She will lose the nail and we hope that the fungal infection is cleared up and won't affect the new nail as it grows in. She also had a squamous cell carcinoma removed from the back of her right hand. That sure served as a reminder for me to apply my sunscreen! My sunbathing days were over a long time ago, but the Internet says that it takes a very long time for the cells to develope into basil-cell or squamous-cell carcinoma. Too bad most young people won't listen to us old fogies about sunbathing without sunscreen and about tanning beds! Mom can sure tell them a thing or two about what happens as you age!


Jean said Dad was very quiet and not very perky during the day. I attribute that to his lack of sleep last night. By the time I got back here this evening about 7:00 he was very alert. I sat and talked to him about the events of my day and he was very attentive and laughed when I told him some stories!


After I had been here a little while, Mom came and got me and said that Dad wanted to tell me something. I went through a usual list of things to ask him and figured out that he wanted something to eat. It was an interesting process, but I figured out (EUREKA!!!) that he wanted a grilled cheese sandwich! He ate almost the whole sandwich and drank a half a glass of milk with it! I sliced some grapes and told him he had to eat those to counter-act the cheese in his belly, and he ate all of them! After he ate, Christina gave him a nice foot massage! I teased him about being spoiled and he grinned at me as if to say he knew it!! I did tell him, though, that he totally deserved to be spoiled!


Cousin Troy Smith is doing some geneology work on Grandpa Smith's side of the family. He has found a census report from Smith County in 1910 that documents Clay G. Smith (Dad's Grandfather who actually went by Clint Smith), who was born in Smith County and was married to Ida who was from Mississippi. It also documents their children as Cecil (Dad's aunt, age 6), Rice (Dad's father who went by his middle name, Sewell) and James (Dad's uncle whom, as an adult, lived in Palestine TX). Dad had told me that Grandpa Smith was born somewhere near Brady TX, which is in Smith County. If you know any further information about this, please contact Troy or me! I love knowing about our roots!


Dad is asleep in the bedroom recliner, so Mom and I are headed to our side of the house to go to bed. I will talk to you tomorrow! I pray that each of you rests well.


Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. And in the morning when I awake, help me Lord, the path of love to take. Amen!

Better!

Good morning to all of you! About 10 p.m. last night Jerry arrived! The Home Care Assistance had appealed to him to come help with Dad during the night and he readily agreed to come! God bless him! Mom and I had a very restful night, once we got settled into our beds.


Jerry and Dad had, what is now, a "usual" night, in that Dad is up and down a lot going to the restroom. However, he is not in pain, which is excellent, praise God! As in the past two days, the Tylenol seems to be all that he needs to keep him comfortable.


Mom and I sent Jerry home (fortunately, he lives in Granite Shoals, which is about 12 minutes away) about 8:30 this morning and she and I are taking good care of him! She keeps reminding me that she took care of him all by herself for a long time. When I start to feel badly about that, I make myself remember that she refused to let us get her any help, and I praise God that she finally gave in. Now she sees how much help they are to her!


Dad seems so much better to me! Only through the grace of God! His color is real good this morning and he ate the whole egg I cooked for him for breakfast! He still wants to remain in the hospital bed rather than come to his living room chair. I plan to try to get him to get up a little bit this afternoon in an attempt to start rebuilding his strength. He is still very strong on his left side though. One of the days Danny was here, he and Dad were holding hands and Danny commented to Dad that his grip was still strong. Dad bent his arm and kind of arm-wrestled with Danny, showing him how strong he still was! Dad can swing his legs out of the bed and turn himself over from one side to the other using the bed rail. His left leg is weaker from lack of exercise, butm now that he is feeling better, maybe we can gradually get him to get up a little bit more and use his legs more. I certainly am not going to push him, but I think it woudl be good for him to be up a little bit. Mom's roses and bluebonnets are absolutely gorgeous and I would love to take him out for some fresh air and to see the flowers. It's awfully windy this morning, so I will wait until that calms down.


The Hospice nurse is here checking Dad's coumadin level, vital signs, etc. and a Hospice aide is due here at 12:45 to bathe him. Mom and I are doing a little laundry. She's so adorable! She watches over every piece of clothing I put in the washer! I respectfully asked her if she would rather do it herslef and she laughed and left the room saying she'd go "put on her face." Well, that lasted about one minute and she was back!! I told her I know how hard it is to let someone else do the things she has done for herself for so many years and she said it really is! So, I will gently do as much as I can!


Mom is going out in a little while to run some errands, go to the bank and the grocery store, etc. Glenda is coming out today so I suggested Mom take her time, piddle around in Wal-Mart, which is one of her favorite passtimes, and go have her favorite chicken marsala at Francesco's in Marble Falls. She seemed pleased to be able to do that! It will be good for her to get out of the house!


For the beauty of each hour,
Of the day and of the night, Hill and vale,
and tree and flower, Sun and moon, and stars of light.
For the joy of ear and eye,
For the heart and mind’s delight,
For the mystic harmony linking sense to sound and sight.
For the joy of human love,
Brother, sister, parent, child,Friends on earth and friends above,
For all gentle thoughts and mild.
Lord of all, to Thee we raise,This our hymn of grateful praise. Amen

I Could Waltz Across Texas With You!

Dad rested much better last night with the aid of Tylenol, rather than a stronger drug. He was up some, but not nearly like he has been previous nights. When I went into the bedroom this morning, he was in the restroom. An idea came to me...I got the protable CD/Cassette player, plugged it in Dad's bedroom and put in a cassette that was made by Dad's cousin, Jimmy Siegeler and his band. As I heard Dad coming out of the bathroom, I turned it on loud enough for him to hear it without his hearing aids. Dod got a little smile on his face when he heard the music and saw me grinning! I said, "Dad, do you know who this is?" His grin got bigger and I said, "It's Jimmy Siegeler and his band!" Dad then got a great big grin! I was dancing around in front of him in his wheelchair and he put out his hand and danced with me!!!! It was absolutely priceless to be dancing with my Dad again! We danced the remainder of the song and then Dad was ready to get into the bed! Once he got settled, I reminded him of the great time he, Mom, Ollie and I had in Snyder TX in June of 2009. The four of us attended the Western Swing Dance Festival and danced for four straight days! That was June and Dad had his stroke in September of that year. When I was talking to Dad about Snyder, he got a very nostalgic look on his face and smiled and nodded his head 'yes' when I said what great memories those were!


Danny, Jean and Jimmie came this afternoon, so I went to an antique auction with Ollie. As I was driving to meet him in Round Rock, I was listening to 105.9, the Contemporary Christian music radio station for our area. There was a guest minister on the show and he began to introduce the next song. He was saying that the song was about finding joy through sorrow. It was so amazing to me that I could so personally relate to what he was saying because that was exactly how I was feeling today. I have been blessed to have had such precious quality joyful time with Mom and Dad and I am here because of Dad's being so ill. I found the lyrics to the song that the minister was introducing and speaking about. I thought you might like to read them...


There’s a place of quiet stillness ‘tween the light and shadows reach
Where the hurting and the hopeless seek everlasting peace
Words of men and songs of angels whisper comfort bittersweet
Mending grief and life eternal where joy and sorrow meet
There is a place where hope remains
In crowns of thorns and crimson stains
And tears that fall on Jesus’ feet
Where joy and sorrow meet
There’s a place the lost surrender and the weary will retreat
Full of grace and mercy tender in times of unbelief
For the wounded there is healing, strength is given to the weak
Broken hearts find love redeeming where joy and sorrow meet
There’s a place of thirst and hunger where the roots of faith grow deep
And there is rain and rolling thunder when the road is rough and steep
There is hope in desperation there is victory in defeat
At the cross of restoration where joy and sorrow meet.
Sung by Avalon


As I drove, I also meditated about how this experience with Dad, since his stroke and now through this illness, has brough me closer to God and how it has strengthened my faith rather than made me question it. I feel so close to God and find such peace in talking to Him and praying to Him. Mom and I pray together at each meal, we all pray together when Sister Claudia or Deacon Pat bring communion, and I kneel and join Mom and Dad as they say their nighttime prayers. They have been a great influence in strengthening my faith in God, Dad in his patience with his afflictions and Mom in her selflessness in the care of him.


Dad had a marvelous day with Danny, Jean, Jimmie, Mom and the caretaker Monica. He seemed very alert and happy when I got back about 6:00. Danny had gone to Russo's "on the hill" at Mom's request and picked up the steak/zucchini pasta dinner that Dad loves for lunch. Jimmie and Danny fixed Mom's doorbell which pleased Mom greatly and they visited the rest of their time here. I haven't seen Dad that alert since I've been here! One thing for certain, the son, Danny, is the best medicine for Dad! Certainly we know that Dad loves "his girls", but his son is so very special to him! Dad is so, so blessed to have the son and the Son in his life, as is the rest of our family, and all of us!


We have been so very blessed with the caretakers Jerry, Christina and Monica who attend to Dad. They are on shifts for 12 hours, 7 to 7 during the week days and week nights, and then over the weekends. We have had to fire two women who did not provide adequate care for Dad. Yes, we set the standard of care high and nothing less is acceptable. One woman was fired before I "moved in" and the other I fired tonight after 3 incidences of neglect in only 2 hours! That was unacceptable! God bless Jerry, he usually doesn't work on Sundays nor at night, but he came tonight when the scheduler asked him to fill in for the woman I sent home! Mom and I will work as a team tomorrow and allow Jerry time to go to the other side of the house and have several hours of sleep! That's the least we can do! Again, God bless the people who devote their lives in the care of others. Blessed Lord, thank you for the caretakers who so gently, patiently, and lovingly watch over Dad and help Mom. Each of them, Jerry, Christina and Monica, have a special respect and love for Mom and Dad that shines through their care and service. Thank you for that loving care and for bringing them into our lives at this, our time of need. Help us to remember to show our gratitude to them because they are so very precious to us. Amen.


I can hear Jerry, now, attending to Dad with so much kindness. Mom has retired to her bed. I can go to bed now, comforted that we don't have to worry about whether or not Dad's needs are being met. I pray that my Mom and Dad have a restful night.


In peace we will lie down and sleep,
for You alone, Lord, make us dwell in safety.
Abide with us, Lord Jesus, for the night is at hand and the day is now past.
As the night watch looks for the morning, also do we look for You, O Christ.
Come with the dawning of the day and make yourself known in the breaking of the bread.
May the risen Lord Jesus bless us.
May He watch over us and renew us as He renews the whole of creation.
May our hearts and lives echo His love.
Amen.

Precious moments...

I got side-tracked and forgot to share with you two precious events that Christina witnessed in the wee hours of Friday morning. At about 1:45 a.m. Dad was dreaming, and Christina said he was smiling and laughing out loud! At one point he laughed so loudly that we woke himself up! She described his laugh as a "laugh from his soul." She said that his laughter was so loud that she thought at one point that it might wake Mom or me! I truly wish it had!


A little later Christina was coming into the bedroom and, from the hallway, she saw Dad reaching up towards the statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary that is on a shelf above the bed. To the statue Dad said, "I'm fine." Christina said that, certainly Dad's speech wasn't as clear as yours or mine, but without and doubt in her mind, he said those words clear enough for her to know what he said! "And they were astonished beyond measure, saying, “He has done all things well. He even makes the deaf hear and the mute speak.” Mark 7:37


I have often wondered if, in his dreams, does Dad speak? How I would love to know what he does dream about, but that is for him and God to know! I pray that they are happy dreams full of the love that we all have for him!


I hope this put a smile of your face like it did mine and Mom's! We are aware of small miracles! "Did I not tell you tht, if you believe, you will see the glory of God"! John 11:40

Mom is resting...

Praise God, Sister Claudia, Mom and Dad's dear friend and the nun from St John's Church, has been coming as often as she can, almost daily, to give us communion. Her visit is a great comfort, especially to Mom. As Sister was leaving, she told Mom in no uncertain terms that she was to go right back to bed and rest, and, believe it or not, Mom listened!! Again, praise God!


So let me tell you what has been going on with Dad since Thursday night. That night, we were still administering Dad's pain medication on a 4-hour regimen. As of Friday morning, the pain medication was so fully in his system that it got to be too much for him to handle. He was very disoriented and kept rubbing his head and forehead showing us that he didn't like the way he felt. Throughout the day, we discontinued the pain medication and Dad remained pain-free.


We had a lot of company, Aunt Mary and Aunt Dorene, Dad's sisters, cousins Peggy and Bobby Radford, Ronnie and Tiffany Lawson, Troy and Terri Smith, and friends Carolyn and Jack Alexander, Mildred Smith, and Leslie and Kim Stephens, and Deacon Pat and Charlie Schneider from Church When visitors came, we tried to let Dad know that they were here, but he was still in such a stupor from the drug that he had an impossible time staying awake. While we loved each and every one of them for coming to visit, we determined that, with all that goes on with Dad's care and with how tired Mom already is, we are going to discourage visitors and ask, instead, that they focus on praying for God's mercy on Dad and health and strength for Mom.


So, Dad seemed to rest well during the day, but during the night was a different story altogether. Christina, the night-time caretaker, said he was up every 30-45 minutes to go to the restroom. He is back to wanting to get in the wheelchair and go into the bathroom, so it is an undertaking to get him up, in the wheelchair, to the toilet, back into the wheelchair and then, finally, back to bed. About the time she would get him settled, the process would start all over again. He becomes very agitated in the night, totally different from his peaceful and restful demeanor in the daytime. This has nothing to do with medications, because he was doing this same routine with Mother prior to his recent decline. We administered Ativan in small doses off and on throughout the night, which is a medication to help Dad calm down enough to sleep, but his bladder issues kept interrupting his sleep. Mom vehimently did not want any pain medication given. He tells us he is not in pain, so, for now, we will keep him off of it. Cousin Ronnie, who is an oncologist, has given me suggestions on how to administer small doses rather than a lot at once. But , today, Dad is not in pain, just miserable from getting up and down so much. And, again, he is resting in between trips to the bathroom. He ate a bit of an egg for breakfast and we are supplementing with Boost. We were told that Boost is a good calorie and nitritional substitute for a meal.


Mom is resting in her bed on the opposite side of the house from Dad and I told her that I didn't want to see her for two hours! At least she is resting, and I will settle for any amount of time! She wanted to nap in her chair in the living room, but I know that she would then be able to hear every peep Dad made and she wouldn't stay in the chair for long. I "tucked her in" the bed with the vow to go to Dad if I heard him and supervise the caretaker, Monica, who is here for the weekend. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Yes, Lord, in Your holy name we pray.


“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” (Proverbs 3:5-6) Amen.

Rough night

Bless Christina, Dad's night-time caretaker. Dad was very unsettled last night and we believe it is because of the pain drugs we were administering in hope of keeping him "comfortable". Dad is very sensitive to drugs, and we have decided that he was actually getting over-medicated. It became gradual, but, once the pain medicine built up in his system, it became too much. We have, through the guidance of the Hospice nurse, backed off his pain med to an as-needed basis. He was also being given something to aid him in sleeping, Ativan, and I think it was doing the opposite of what it was suppoed to do, especially when mixed with the pain med. We hope and pray that tonight he will rest much better with none of those meds in his system. We are also encouraging the fluids and foods that he likes to help get the meds out and for obvious reasons!


Mom had a good night. She only got up once, about 3 a.m., checked on Dad and the caretaker and then went back to bed. She was very disconcerted about Dad's disorientation this morning and knew, without a doubt in her mind, that it was due to Dad's meds. Over the past 5 hours, Dad has calmed down and seems much more clear-headed and calm. Mom has calmed down also. The nurse's aid from Hospice came to check on Dad and to report back to the nurse. The difference in him from 7:00 this morning to 11:30 was remarkable. Dad is resting now in the bedroom recliner and Mom is watching over him. I will encourage her to go to the other recliner once she sees that Dad is settling down.


I have been reading selected Psalms to Dad and that seems to relax him...


You who dwell in the shelter of the Most High,
who abide in the shadow of the Almighty,
Say to the Lord, "My refuge and fortress, my God whom I trust,"
God will rescue from the fowler's snare, from the destroying plague,
Will shelter you with pinions, spread wings that you may take refuge;
God's faithfulness is a protecting shield.
You shall not fear the terror of the night not the arrow that flies by day,
Nor the pestilence that roams in darkness, nor the plague that ravages at noon.
Whoever clings to me I will deliver;
whoever knows my name I will set on high.
All who call upon me I will answer;
I will be with them in distress;
I will deliver them and give them honor.
With the length of days I will satisfy them and show them my power.


This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Amen.

Rallying!

It's been an interesting day, to say the least! This morning, as you can tell from my post, I thought Dad wouldn't make it through the day. There were a total of 7 visitors, and he rallied as the day grew older! I don't mean that he made a miracualous recovery, but he did stay awake for longer periods of time, even if his eyes were closed, and he acknowledged joyfully each person as they arrived! Jerry heated Dad a hamburger patty with gravy this evening and he insisted on feeding himself and ate all but one bite! That is in direct contrast to yesterday and days prior when he was too weak to feed himself and had no appetite. Is this the calm before the storm, only our precious Lord knows. We will see what tonight and tomorrow bring. I praise God for the outstanding home care assistance we have and for the added blessing of Hospice care. Nothing would make me happier than to cancel Hospice, but we will not make that move too quickly. Not that I am being pessimistic...just realistic.


But as for me, I will always have hope;
I will praise you more and more.
My mouth will tell of your righteousness,
of your salvation all day long,
though I know not its measure.
I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, O Sovereign Lord;
I will proclaim your righteousness, yours alone.
Since my youth, O God, you have taught me,
and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.
Even when I am old and gray,
do not forsake me, O God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
your might to all who are to come.
Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God,
you who have done great things.
Who, O God, is like you?
Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter,
you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
you will again bring me up.
You will increase my honor
and comfort me once again.
Psalm 71


Until tomorrow...Love and Peace to each of you.

For Dad

Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord.
Lord, hear my voice! O let your ears be attentive to the voice of my pleading.
My soul is waiting for the Lord, I count on his word.
My soul is longing for the Lord more than watchman for daybreak.
Because with the Lord there is mercy And fullness of redemption.


Dad had a pretty restless night. He seems to rest well, when he is resting. He will remain on pain medication and some of his other meds are being tapered off or stopped altogether. He isn't able to get up from the hospital bed any longer and seems pretty weak. He will hold the glass of water or smoothie and drink a swallow or two, but doesn't want to eat or drink anything else.


Friends came by this morning and he did say "Ah" when he saw them, so he is recognizing us, but doesn't stay awake for more than a moment or two. When he is awake with his eyes closed, I believe he is hearing us , but he does keep his eyes are closed the majority of the time. I sat by his bed this morning and prayed the rosary out loud. His face relaxed and he raised his eyebrows and almost smiled. Again, that lasted only for a moment, but I know he was hearing me. Mother said praying always relaxed him when he was stressed, so I will do that off and on during the day or at night, especially if he is stressing.


Mother is so stoic, but I can see that this is so hard for her. I can only imagine how difficult it is to see her husband of almost 66 years deteriorating before her eyes. She is supporting Dad's wishes of not prolonging his life and she is doing everything in her power to keep him comfortable. As a woman of faith, I know that she is comforted in knowing God is with her and Dad and all of us through this process.


What would we do without our faith? I am unconsciously praying throughout the day and will go read Dad the Psalms later. For now I will close with Psalm 23...


The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures: he leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul: he leads me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yes, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies: you anoint my head with oil; my cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

Finally back...

Well, it's been a long two weeks since I last blogged and a lot has happened in-between.


Dad went to the hosptial emergency room on March 25 with sever lower abdominal pain. A cat-scan was done and nothing definitive showed up. Dad was treated for his pain for two days and was sent home with pain medication. We do know that there are bladder issues, so the presumption is that the pain is a symptom of what is going on with his bladder.


Over this two weeks, Dad has been to the hospital in Round Rock and the same thing happened...he was sent home with pain medication. Last Thursday, Mom and Jean took Dad to his physician in Marble Falls because he was having a related pain issue and the doctor wanted to put Dad back in the hospital, but Dad refused. He insisted on being taken back home, and at home he will remain. Dad does not want any treatment, other than for his pain. So be it.


It is amazing how quickly Dad has declined over the past two weeks. He is being kept on pain medication 24 hours a day, with a stronger med at night because that seems to be when his pain is worse. We have 24-hour care with him and have, as of today, called in Hospice. None of us know how this will go, but we wanted Hospice to be involved so that we are doing everything right. There will now be a Hospice nurse that visits at least once a week and a Hospice aide who will come 2 times a week, to start with, to bathe Dad. The aide is another pair of eyes to watch for bed sores or any other issue that we might miss.


Dad hasn't much appetite, but I think a lot of that is due to the pain medication. His taste buds have changed over the past few months and very few things taste good to him, and he is very conscious of the consistency of foods. Things like mashed potatoes or soft vegetables don't suit him at all. So, every couple of hours we offer him things that we think he will eat. Mom has been making him fruit smoothies and he will usually drink those.


I have basically moved in , for now. None of us knows what to expect, but Mom is so emotionally and physically tired that I want to be here for the every-day-type decisions and duties and to support her in any way I possibly can. Jean spelled me last night so I could go home and have a night with Ollie and our grandson, Austin. All we can do is take one day at a time, but I plan to be here as long as I feel like Mom needs me. I praise God that I have such a supportive and self-sufficient husband who understands that he married a Momma's baby!


I am so comforted that our precious Lord has Dad in His loving hands and that He knows the perfect time for Dad to join HIm in Heaven. Until then, I faithfully believe that He is guiding us to take the best care of Dad here at home. "For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end." (Psalm 48:14)


I will do my best to keep you posted on Dad's condition. I know you will continue to keep Dad and Mom in your prayers. Jean, Glenda, Danny and I, and all of our famiies are so grateful for that.


Lord, be merciful on our Father and give him peace. Amen.